Strategy for a Meet the Parents Outfit

Ask A Woman:  Clothes and making a good impression with her family

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Hi Beth,

I’ve been dating a great girl for about a year now.  She is originally from out of state and goes home to see her family just two or three times a year since it can be a lengthy drive.  I have met her mom once and sister a couple times when they’ve been up to visit but there are still other family members, most importantly her father, who I have yet to meet.  She has just asked if I’d like to go with her to visit her family and stay for the weekend.  It is important to me that I make a great impression on her family so I would love some advice on my look.

I work in a business casual environment so my wardrobe consists mainly of chinos/khakis, shirts/polos, and drivers/loafers/boat shoes.  My out of work wardrobe is very similar to it except I tend to wear more shorts.  Again, I would love to make a great first impression but don’t want to overdo it either.  Any tips on sharpening my look before going to visit?

– Rod 

Hi Rod,

First, congrats on your relationship and its positive progress forward–so many of the emails I get are about broken hearts and fickle women, so it’s nice to hear things are going well for at least one of my readers.

Before you leave, quiz your girlfriend.  What activities are you likely to take part in this weekend?  Is her family content to lounge around the house, hanging out, eating good food, playing board games?  Or are they more active? In which case, what kind of active?  Fishing on the boat, playing football in the yard?  Dining out, seeing a movie, attending church, going to the farmer’s market on Saturday morning?  Not surprisingly, what you wear should be appropriate to the occasion.

The trick here is to find a balance between staying true to yourself, and blending comfortably into her family.

Keep it a little reeled in.  Maybe not this much.
. Take note, this advice goes beyond clothing.  In the first handful of meetings with a significant other’s family, your goal should be to impress and charm.  Right now, her family doesn’t know you from Adam or any of the other Adams she may have introduced to them.  They are likely to be hesitant, weary, even suspicious.  This is not personal, they’re simply watching out for the person they love most.  If you’re serious about a future with her, you want them rooting for you.  Once you win them over, they’ll be much more accepting of anything that might have been a deal-breaker had you put it front and center.  You know–your philosophy degree, your mother’s four divorces, your penchant for bow ties.

From Left:  Sure (J. Crew).  Maybe, depends on what you’re doing (Levis).  Not this time Captain Fashion (Bonobos).

I think your wardrobe sounds great–chinos can be worn day or night, polos are casual but polished, and boat shoes look great with almost anything.  But I have no information about your girlfriend’s family, and that is really key to deciding what you’ll pack.  If a fun family activity is chopping wood then you need to bring more casual attire like jeans and sneakers or boots.  If a fun family activity is attending the opera then you need to bring more formal attire like dress shoes, a suit or a blazer.  Get as much information from your lady as possible, and then don’t worry about it.  Good luck!

-Beth

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