If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
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Beth,
My friend is having a destination wedding in Paris this summer which means I’ll be traveling from the states. The wedding is black tie, but I’m not in the wedding party. Is it okay to wear a nice suit instead of a rented tux? My argument is that I’m spending a bunch of money to travel to Paris, and I’ve got a real nice suit I could wear.
Jamie
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Hi Jamie,
May I tell you a little story? Years ago I was living in what was basically a studio apartment with a boyfriend. Several times, I had people who lived out of town make plans to visit me, and they always asked, “But can I/we stay with you, since the flight out is pretty expensive?” As I’ve mentioned before, I once had dreams of being a statistician, and sometimes I like to bust out a little math here on AAW.
600 square feet + 2 residents + 1 or 2 or 3 guests + several nights = HELL NO, YOU CANNOT STAY WITH ME.
I had zero money myself, so I was sympathetic to my friends and relatives not wanting to dish out the big bucks for a hotel stay, but my feeling was always that if they didn’t have the funds to pay for a room, they didn’t have the funds for the trip, period. Similarly, I’ve traveled with people who don’t want to eat out or see the sights or really leave wherever we’re staying because they don’t want to spend the money, and I think to myself, so you basically spent all your money on travel and lodging but now that we’re in this fabulous and new place, we can’t see it? Travel expenses are much more than just the flight or hotel.
In your case, Jamie, part of the travel expenses for this particular wedding is the tux. While it’s true that you’re spending quite a bit of money to attend your pal’s wedding, the invitation does specify black tie. Their wedding, their rules. Do I think that’s a ridiculous requirement for an overseas wedding in Paris, for which everyone will already be spending a ton of money to attend? Yes, yes, yes. However…their wedding, their rules. So my official advice as a serious, committed advice-giving professional is to rent or buy a tux.
The Joker wants to know why I must be so serious. I’m too afraid to answer him.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
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