Ask A Woman: Do I Really Need to Rent a Tux if I’m flying Internationally?
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Beth,
My friend is having a destination wedding in Paris this summer which means I’ll be traveling from the states. The wedding is black tie, but I’m not in the wedding party. Is it okay to wear a nice suit instead of a rented tux? My argument is that I’m spending a bunch of money to travel to Paris, and I’ve got a real nice suit I could wear.
Jamie
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Hi Jamie,
May I tell you a little story? Years ago I was living in what was basically a studio apartment with a boyfriend. Several times, I had people who lived out of town make plans to visit me, and they always asked, “But can I/we stay with you, since the flight out is pretty expensive?” As I’ve mentioned before, I once had dreams of being a statistician, and sometimes I like to bust out a little math here on AAW.
600 square feet + 2 residents + 1 or 2 or 3 guests + several nights = HELL NO, YOU CANNOT STAY WITH ME.
I had zero money myself, so I was sympathetic to my friends and relatives not wanting to dish out the big bucks for a hotel stay, but my feeling was always that if they didn’t have the funds to pay for a room, they didn’t have the funds for the trip, period. Similarly, I’ve traveled with people who don’t want to eat out or see the sights or really leave wherever we’re staying because they don’t want to spend the money, and I think to myself, so you basically spent all your money on travel and lodging but now that we’re in this fabulous and new place, we can’t see it? Travel expenses are much more than just the flight or hotel.
In your case, Jamie, part of the travel expenses for this particular wedding is the tux. While it’s true that you’re spending quite a bit of money to attend your pal’s wedding, the invitation does specify black tie. Their wedding, their rules. Do I think that’s a ridiculous requirement for an overseas wedding in Paris, for which everyone will already be spending a ton of money to attend? Yes, yes, yes. However…their wedding, their rules. So my official advice as a serious, committed advice-giving professional is to rent or buy a tux.
The Joker wants to know why I must be so serious. I’m too afraid to answer him.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
If it’s announced and expected that everyone come in a tux, then hell yes.
I agree with Beth, including the part where I think the wedding is a bit over the top. But I wouldn’t want to be the only one wearing a suit with everyone else in black tie. Either don’t go, or go all the way.
I bought my classic black tux for <$300 at a men's consignment store a few years ago. I don't use it that often (once a year or so) but it's nice to have that option when my girlfriend wears something over the top and we want to dress up for the theater, symphony, ballet, etc.
You can also go vintage. My brother found a great looking tux from the 20s at a vintage shop downtown for under $100 – so basically what one rental would cost, he got for life. He actually ended up wearing it in his wedding. Classic styling, quality construction, and just different enough from the sea of rentals that it makes you stand out without being overly flamboyant.
If the invitation states black tie, anything but a tux would be direspectful. If you’re already reading Dappered, then you’re a man of style. A man of style would never disrespect an event he is a guest at.
Beth- I cant believe you went into such detail and then only very casually at the very end even mentioned buying a tux. Jamie you need to wear a tux but if you are a follower of this site and since you wrote in I am assuming you are. Go out and buy yourself a tux, then its an investment for future events as well. Rented tux’s look terrible and you can get a nice tux onsale these days for between 300-500. I hope this helps and I am a little disappointed that Beth didnt bring this up with greater emphasis.Tux
If the Indochino 369-399 tux is too much, keep your eye out for Macy’s deals. I have seen nice Hugo and Calvin tuxes for well under $300. If you are really daring, you can rent a tux in Paris. There are plenty of shops just ask: Wo kann ich mieten sie ein tuxedo? …wait that might not go over well. Try Ou peus-je louer un tuxedo?
Busting out the français! Yes! But try using the word “smoking” instead of “tuxedo,” as that is what a tuxedo is called in french. And if you’re a single man, I would walk up to the cutest little parisienne I could find and say with pride, “Excusez-moi, madamoisselle, je suis invité à un mariage, et j’ai pas de smoking! Pouvez-vous m’aider en trouver, s’il vous plaît!” You’ll discover thereafter how much french women ADORE American men who try to speak French. In fact, if you plan on following this advice, you should go ahead and tell your pal that you’ll be bringing a +1.