What to wear on the wedding day: A Tux or a Nice Suit?

Ask A Woman:  Can I skip the tux on my wedding day?

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Beth –

I’m getting married in next June and my fiancee and I are into the planning process.  It’s going to be held outside at a golf course, with the reception inside at their extremely nice banquet facility.  Overlooks a nice area, the whole nine yards.

My issue is this.  I hate tuxedos.  My fiancee says there’s nothing better though than a man in a tux and she’s lobbying hard for me to be in one.  I have a few really well tailored, and frankly expensive, suits that any of which I’d love to wear.

Can’t I just do that?

Calvin

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Hi Calvin,

First,  let’s discuss the difference between a suit and a tuxedo.  A tuxedo jacket has satin lapels, while a suit jacket’s lapels are made of the same material as the rest of the suit.   A tux pant has a satin stripe going up the outside of the leg, while a suit pant does not.  Tuxedos are typically worn only with shiny patent leather shoes, while suits may be worn with a variety of dress shoes.  There is a specific tuxedo shirt with a pleated front, but I do feel like I’ve seen tuxes worn without pleated shirts.  Tuxes may be worn with cummerbunds.  There are some other details that separate tuxes from suits but the aforementioned specifics are the most noticeable.

Now, on to your question.  It’s becoming more popular for men to wear suits to their weddings, instead of renting or buying tuxedos.  I see nothing wrong with that, and I think convention takes a backseat to you feeling comfortable and stylish on your wedding day.  But, I’m wondering if you’re having a wedding party…

One of the upsides to renting a tux is that if you have a wedding party, all the men can rent the same tux, and thus be matching for the photos.  Other people prefer (or at least don’t mind) the more eclectic assembling of different suits that happens if you tell your groomsmen to just wear whatever they have in their closets.

But, be warned that your cousin Angus, who your mom made you ask to be a groomsman, may show up in a suit he hasn’t worn since he went to junior prom, when he took Janice Mulcher who liked her men in white polyester high-waters, and because he’s also had a six-High-Life-a-day habit since that time, he’ll be a blinding vision of button-busting flood-preparedness.  (Too much?  Look, I have a rich inner life, leave me alone with my imaginings.)…Ahem, all of which is to say that it may be a bit of a gamble to ask your groomsmen to dress themselves.  All I’m sayin’.

The last word: brides almost always pick their gowns without input from their fiancé, and I’m guessing your bride is no exception.  If hers is really just a preference that you wear a tux (and your tailored and expensive suits are truly in good taste), I think you should be able to wear a suit.

– Beth

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*Sidenote: If you do need a tux, you can pick up a Hilfiger Trim Fit for just $205 total, right now at Macy’s: