The Best and Worst World Cup Jerseys – From Randall Simon’s Sausages
It only happens every four years, and unlike the Summer or Winter Olympics, people actually care about this thing. The World Cup is about to launch and I’m personally looking forward to one month of the planet’s biggest game on the game’s biggest stage.
You look good, you play good. Disagree with that? See the 76′-77′ Buccaneers if you need some evidence. And the guys at the Sports Blog Randall Simon’s Sausages (you’d either have to be a Brewers or Pirates fan to get the reference) have ranked all 32 teams based on uniform. Here’s their list. The Dappered.com picks for the Top 3 and Bottom 3 are below.
The Top 3 – Australia – $70.00 | Ghana – $70.00 | Japan – $70.00
1. Australia – Gotta love the not too-bright green and yellow combination with the high chest stripe. The blocky green shoulders that go right into the sleeves are only going to make the big rugby loving Aussies look even bigger. Plus, the left chest has one of the best coat of arms of all time. Kangaroo + Emu = Awesome.
2. Ghana – Puma designed the jerseys for all the African Nations this year and they did a great job. Each team has their nickname printed in shadow on their right shoulder, and Ghana’s national team is known as the black stars. Randall Simon’s Sausages prefer the animal mascots, but I think simplicity wins out. Ghana’s jerseys are clean and to the point with some terrific sleeve piping.
3. Japan – This made the original lists bottom three, but I think they’re pretty slick. A bit busy, but still. The deep blue is perfect, the crest looks great, and I even like the tonal leaf pattern (are those leaves? Feathers?) on the front. As long as they don’t stand out and shimmer too much, I think they’re pretty cool addition. But if they’re super noticeable, I’ll be eating my words along with a nice hot bowl of Miso come kickoff.
Honorable Mention: Brazil (Classic) Spain (Also Classic) and New Zealand (Tough to screw up black and white)
The Bottom 3 – Greece – $70.00 | Denmark – $70.00 | Slovenia – $70.00
30. Greece – I know Greece is in the middle of a financial crisis, but couldn’t they have paid for a uniform that didn’t look like it was inspired by chutes and ladders?
31. Denmark – Randall Simon’s Sausages says it looks like the old video game Breakout, and you can’t deny the Atari Influence. I’m also seeing the Alligator heads in Pitfall, which means the first time a Danish player goes down on the pitch, this needs to be played in the stadium.
32. Slovenia – Looks like something Charlie Brown’s Evil twin would wear. They say it’s supposed to represent mountains. If I were a mountain, I’d be insulted.
Dishonorable Mention: England (C’mon. It’s a soccer match, not an afternoon at the yacht club,) France (looks like someone got attacked by a tiger. Speaking of…) South Korea (I can’t not think of this when I see those stripes),
Enough 80s references. Enjoy the games.
Agreements? Disagreements? Anyone got a pick to win it all? Leave the comments below…
Argentinia is pretty nice.
I gotta show some love for the German one.
for sure, the black ones are great.
I like Germany & New Zealand.
And it does appear to be feathers on Japan’s.
Dappered could probably do a funny article about the best and worst-dressed coaches in the World Cup. Or maybe it’s just too easy to make fun of Maradona for his two watches, diamond earrings, and buttoning the bottom button (but not the top) on a two-button suit.
Oh… he’s something all right.
Well I think the Germans ably demonstrated the value of good uniforms today.
The Socceroos looked great. Then they started playing.
They all look the same shade of ugly to me – but if I had to pick, I’d say Australia was the worse (ugly strappless – lookalike, over a green shirt) – though REALITY CHECK it’s a soccer jersey – it’s meant to be recognisable not pretty, you wear it to a meadow not a ball
lol. I dont think he was comparing them for the purposes of actually wearing them around town. I think we are just comparing their designs, because a designer was behind each and every one of those. It’s like comparing web or print designs, you aren’t gonna wear a screenshot of that website/poster on your shirt or something but you can still appreciate how good/bad each looks. Also, don’t think we should be looking at these jerseys with the same eye as you would normal every day clothes.
It should be noted that it is the Year of the Tiger according to the East Asian zodiac. With this in mind, I was able to appreciate the theme of the Korean jersey.