Style Scenario: Santa on Christmas Eve

What are you going to wear? Or in this instance, what is HE going wear? St. Nick has a huge job ahead of him. Lots of miles to cover, lots of soot filled chimneys to get down, lots of cookie crumbs & milk spills to avoid. It’s quite the task, but that doesn’t mean Santa can’t look sharp while doing it. Here’s what he might wear while putting another 25k-50k miles on the sleigh. (Top Photo Credit: Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash )

The Hat: Winter Aviator Hat w/ Windproof Face Flap – $17.99. Laugh all you want at the extra face protection, but Santa has to keep his lips from getting chapped. Do you know how many “Mommies” want to kiss Santa Claus? ALL the Mommies want to kiss Santa Claus. They know he’s got that “big Nick energy.” There’s been a rumor for centuries that Kris Kringle doesn’t even care about the children. He’s really just dropping down chimneys for the… y’know…  “snacks.” Kids? He hasn’t been doing this for the kids! He did it all for the (milk and) “cookies.”

The Goggles: Safety Goggles – $11.98. Custom anti-radiation lenses by the Reykjavik Costco Optical Department. Helps that they’re red.

The Sweater: Spier and Mackay Lattice Knit Turtleneck – $198. Spendy but worth it. Timeless but bold thanks to the texture. Super warm but breathable 100% merino wool yarn. The perfect level of “chunk.” Just like Santa himself.

The Pants: Bonobos Extra Stretch Travel Jeans – $89 ($129). They’re literally called Travel Jeans, so it makes sense that a man who will circumnavigate the globe in a single evening would choose these. Extra stretch helps too.

The Gloves: Give’r 4-Season Glove w/ Waxed Coating – $111 ($139). Dexterity and dashing good looks, and can handle sub zero temperatures while he’s flying high in the sky. A Huckberry best seller, and an easy buy for the big man.

The Watch: Citizen Air Promaster Nighthawk – $285. The Elves in R&D finally got around to updating the software on the sled, so he now keeps track of all the time zones and his roof-to-tree split times with the on-board computer. But only fools don’t have a back-up. Just in case they have an on-board power failure, he favors Citizen’s aviation style Nighthawk. You never know when you’re gonna need a slide rule. It came in super handy that one year when the alternator failed over Fort Wayne.

The Socks: Made in the USA Darn Tough Scout Boot Midweight Hiking Sock – $29. Great cushioning. Merino base. Also helps that they’re red.

The Boots: Allen Edmonds Higgins Mill Weatherproof Boots with Lug Sole – $299.98 ($495). Port Washington is basically next door to the ‘Pole, so Mr. Kringle is certainly no stranger to Mr. Edmonds. A heritage work boot with weatherproof construction and a lug sole. Perfect for Christmas Eve with all of those snow covered rooftops.

The Nice/Naughty List + Pen: Waterproof Field Notes – $14.95 | Fisher Space Pen – $66.48. The master list stays on the scrolls at the Pole, but a duplicate is transcribed to a pack of weather resistant “Expedition” Field Notes. The Space Pen is the very same used by astronauts due to its ability to write in extreme temperatures and zero gravity. And that’s perfect for maintaining order on the list when Blitzen (who’s aviophobic) forgets to take his benzodiazepine and bolts big time over the Baltic.

The Coat: Custom Gore-Tex Cashmere-Lined Topcoat w/ Horween Leather Belt. One of a kind. Of course it’s Gore-Tex.