Xmas .gifs galore, the latest retail bankruptcies, & more missing… feet.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

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RETAIL HELL: It’s not getting any better out there folks.

DOSSIER UPDATE: This story just seems to get creepier every time another foot washes ashore. 

LEGALIZED LARCENY? This seems pretty crappy to me.

BUT CAN WE EAT THEM? All jokes about the hyperbole of this article’s headline aside, this is not encouraging.

BIG TALK AND ALL THAT: But when it comes to the courage of their convictions, not so much.

LOG. YULE LOG.

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CHALLENGE ACCEPTED: I imagine more and more people will feel the need to do things like this.

IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL…it’s a small, small world. This isn’t even the first time I’ve come across a story like this.

MARKET FORCES AT WORK? From other stories I’ve read that are similar to this particular situation, it would seem that there are more and more small towns across the country that can no longer really afford to be small towns.

JUST SAY NO? Or, maybe, another option? I fully realize this will never happen here, but it is interesting to read about all the same.

THIS CHIPMUNK BLOWS:

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Big thanks to my favorite editor for passing along some great stories this week. As in, the following items:

THE GRAYING GENERATIONS: We are woefully unprepared for what’s coming our way.

THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS: This is something I have some experience with. The struggle is real. And sometimes our brains get in the way of us making the right decisions. I am encouraged about this article.

GOOD NEWS OF THE WEEK: This is fantastic news for people who suffer from one of the nastiest diseases we face. It means there is hope.

ACTUALLY ME: The Noel Gallagher edition.

SANTA WANTS YOU TO DIE:

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GOOD GRIEF! As someone who owns the very thing which was destroyed by good old Chuck, this is a little holiday history for you youngsters (i.e. anyone below the age of 55).

MEANWHILE, IN AUSTRALIA: I would actually be pretty excited to see something like this, as long as it wasn’t coming my direction.

MOVE OVER KRAMPUS: You have competition. 

KNOCK KNOCK: Anyone home? (Editor’s Note: Careful. This is how Picard learned how to play the flute.) 

BARKING BINKIES! I realize we all believe our furballs are smarter than the average furball, but yeah, no. They’re about as smart as your typical toddler. 

KRAMPUS!

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Tis the season to be jolly. Eric H. knows just how to jingle our bells and he’s back with another great selection of stories. And he’s even provided a bit of a soundtrack for you.

OH FFS: Really? Really. Really! Did no one at any time stand up and say, “Uh guys…this is a really bad idea?” Because, goodness.

ONCE UPON A TIME: And we’re talking a loooong time ago…I still have a page somewhere. I don’t even want to think about it.

THAT’S GOT TO BE ONE HELL OF A 529! At least it had better be.

ABJECT FUCKERY: So. Much. Winning. Seriously, this is all just clownishly evil.

THEY LET YOU DREAM JUST TO WATCH ‘EM SHATTER: Looking back on the 1980 movie “9 to 5” in the #metoo prism.

CONSUME! Food stuff in four bite-sized packages. Y’all been played. That’s got to be embarrassing. | In flight feed. That was the fastest follow ever. | Then there’s this. | Sliced toast: #1 is preferred. #2 is acceptable at a diner. #3 is never ever ever. (Editor’s Note II: Wait, #3 is never ever ever? But it’s symmetrical. I mean, #1 is the way to go, but is #3 that bad?) 

INCOMING! I know Eric isn’t the only person excited about this.

IF ONLY:

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REGRETS, HE’S HAD A FEW: But at this point, it’s probably too late to be warning people about the dangers and such.

UM…Fellas, this is not really how things work. Not that I would be surprised if they got their wish.

WHAT. THE. HAMBURGERS? I know that there is sorcery here, I’m just really bad at figuring it out. I am not proud. (Editor’s Note III: Extremely well rehearsed in reverse? Blue shirt guy seems a bit unsure on the stairs, which would be the case if walking up backwards…) 

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.