Hardware Store ScarJo, Thor’s Pull-up Routine, & a Slight Inception Update

SHOW OFF:

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At least he had the decency to grimace.

LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: Don’t hurt your peepers during the upcoming eclipse. This is a reasonable endeavor, don’t you think?

WHILE WE ARE ON THE SUBJECT…(that would be lifehacks) you should check this out if you use peer-to-peer banking apps.

CONSEQUENCES: Sucks to be these guys. Because…doesn’t this sound like the beginning of a slasher movie?

DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER: The truth about your anonymous web browsing.

ONCE UPON A TIME:

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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? These are the kinds of people who die in horror movies. Or, to be more exact, Sci-Fi Horror movies. Because, pretty sure we’ve seen this one before.

SPEAKING OF POOR DECISIONS: It’s getting so easy to hate on these guys.

PERSPECTIVE: That funny sound you make when you see it. But wait, there’s more.

TOO MUCH: This is not from The Onion and I don’t even know what the hell about anything anymore. Just. Wut.

THE BEST PART ABOUT CAMPING IS WHAT? Some of you might appreciate this right here.

SUBTLE:

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It would seem that our intrepid Dossier contributor Eric H has upped his game this week in a bald-faced attempt to shove me aside. I should be worried but I’m much too busy contemplating what kind of place the world actually is having seen this.

THE HISTORY OF THE INTERNET: If you think there should be a chapter about the Million Dollar Home Page, you’re in luck. I didn’t remember it until suddenly of course I did. Sometimes the internet is not forever.

WAIT, WHAT!? This makes me so uncomfortable. Your results may vary.

ERIC H HAS EXCELLENT TASTE: I know this because he shares my abject adoration of Tilda Swinton, who is always the best part about any movie she appears in (exhibit 1, exhibit 2, exhibit 3, exhibit 4, exhibit 5) . So this is just all sorts of bummer news. While we are on the subject of favorite actresses, Dakota Fanning is all grown up and I feel…old, but you should check this out. I am really loving what is coming out of this studio.

THE LIGHTNING ROUND: Puns + Gym selfies – Katy Perry = Shark Weak. | The only kid I would choose to fly with. | This is why we can’t have nice things.

MY SUBCONSCIOUS: 24/7

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OVERTHINKING THINGS: Our brains are SO NOT our best pals. Admit it. You know it’s true.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT: How to properly use your fridge. Apparently I’m a dork.

DOUBLE DIGITS: I could say things about what my hands were doing when I was 19 but nobody wants to hear about macrame.

MOST BADASS BIRD OF PREY EVER: I mean come on.

THE TIMEPIECES OF INSTAGRAM: This is not necessarily a good thing.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.