Dressing like a Sex Machine, Beer Facts, & Gents on a Plane

ON POINT!

(thank you)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS: My favorite exit-strategy is officially sanctioned. And I know for a fact that I’m not the only one. Ahem. (Editor’s Note: Indeed. I’m on board with this too. But at least I carve the word CROATOAN on the front door before I leave.) 

WHAT’S IN A NAME? I mean, I just call it “going to the mountains.” That works fine for me. But I do totally vouch for this.

UH, GUYS: You might want to know about this. *Thinks of all the times he’s done it and shudders*

TREE SHY: Arboreal reticence.

ME: 24/7/365

(thank you)

BEER FACTS: About that craft beer of yours… (Editor’s Note 2: I miss Hacker Pschorr. Dearly.) 

THE FRIENDLY SKIES: Dappered reader Albert S passed along this bit of advice for your next flight. Thanks Albert!

CONSEQUENCES: So this happened. Then there’s this guy.

INK-OF-THE-WEEK: Hey, I haven’t seen one like this before.

WHAT THE ACTUAL…this is sorcery this is. This could be actual nightmare fuel.

FORGOTTEN STORIES:

(mine)

Dossier Contributor-In-Chief Eric H was kind enough to let me hog the spotlight last week. But he’s back and we’re super happy that he shares his finds!

COMING TO AN OLYMPIC GAMES NEAR YOU: Grave Diggin’. I would get sore just watching this. In fact, where’s my Bengay? Naturally, I thought of this.

BOTTOMS UP: It was only a matter of time until this happened. I’ll skip this game. I have reasons (and no, it’s not because of the paper umbrellas and all that).*

WOOF DONE IT? Some folks just know how to stand out from the crowd on the intenet. Increasingly, those folks work at animal shelters.

LIFE’S BIGGEST QUESTIONS: We may never know the answer to this confounding query, but at least we know exactly how to get our Oreo dunk on. So, a wee bit of solace.

THEY LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH…they will take you while “saving” you. So. Damn. Sweet.

HUSTLIN’:

(thank you)

HANDSHAKE OF THE WEEK: This is a glorious thing.

THE PELETON PONY: That sound you here is the wailing of Bronies all over the world. By far the most fabulous contestant in the race. Not even close.

SONIC RABBIT HOLE OF THE WEEK: It’s not just old photos that get digitized. Feel free to go all Victrola over here.

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE: Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails is responsible for some of the most exhilarating music of the last 25 years. Or thereabouts. He popularized industrial rock. He has won an Academy Award for his work scoring films, he has toured with David Bowie, he has continued to do things the way he wants to. This is a really interesting interview.

WAIT, WHAT? Turtles + Sex Toy = Science.

YOU EITHER GET IT IMMEDIATELY OR YOU DON’T:

(thank you)

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS: Don’t be like these guys. This is kind of an Itchy and Scratchy kind of thing.

UH, GUYS? I know for sure I have consumed a whole bunch of these but I’m not dead yet. Your results may very. Or something.

PUB LIFE: It’s where you meet the most interesting people. Well done sir. Well done.

GET OFF MY LAWN! Seriously, you guys should stop for a moment and appreciate your situation.

IT’S OFFICIAL: We’ll get at least one more movie with the best Bond ever. What’s that? I thought so.

INCOMING!

This is the new film from the man who directed “Lobster.” That is something of a disclaimer.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.

*Except for the plastic monkeys. I fucking loved those things. They were the shit. I remember getting them with my diabetes-inducing birthday parties at this place (you were living large if you got to have “The Zoo”) and later on when they came in fancy drinks.