New Timepieces, Old Tattoos, & Permission to Gawk

OLD SCHOOL INFRASTRUCTURE:

(thank you)

This makes me happy for several reasons and they aren’t all nerdy. So, that’s something. Roman roadways depicted ala London Tube style map. You seriously have to check out the details. But, just to remind us all:  “Rome constructed 250,000 miles of roads starting in 300 BC—over 50,000 miles of which were paved with stone—linking a total of 113 provinces from Spain to modern day Britain to the northern tip of Africa.” 

EVERYTHING CHANGES: Especially war. This is the new battlefield.

AT FIRST I WAS LIKE… oh hey, this is pretty awesome. And then I had questions. So many question. Insurmountable questions.

!!!!!😮!!!!: This is relevant to my interest seeing as I am an exclamation point abuser. I can’t help myself!! Really! This does not lessen my shame. Mostly.

UPDATED PORTFOLIO: This is way better than that Verizon dude’s new thing. 

IT’S THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE: There is a reason people put up with all the crappy things about sports. This is a perfect example (more on these guys over here). And this one too.

ONCE UPON A TIME:

(thank you)

Victorian tattoo art. And you worry about keeping your fresh ink germ free? Imagine.

YO! Can you spare an organ? Wait. Why are you snickering? Stop it.

HEY ALANIS: Now this is ironic.

GOALS: Barcelona is one of the most incredible cities in the world. I might have to go back there so I can check this out. If you go to Barcelona and you don’t get your fill of all things Gaudi then you shouldn’t have gone. Yes, I am being judgmental. Also, if you go there, you must see this piece by Hieronymus Bosch. In the meantime, if you want to trip balls, here you go.

DOSSIER UPDATE: Yep, it’s another UBER story. I mean, come on already.

RIP OF THE WEEK: Sex and drugs and rock and roll. Also, fashion.

WHAT WOULD SNAKE WEAR?

(thank you)

This is a Lifeclock one. It is not for someone on a night out with the guys. It’s for when you are sent via glider into a dystopian island prison on a mission to save the President of the United States. But with more features.

NEVER PUT OFF FOR TOMORROW…this hits really close to home. Maybe I’m not the only person who could take a minute to read this.

Rx OF THE WEEK: Pick up a pen and put down the painkillers.

HEADS UP: I’ve collected a few stories that are political in nature. You know how to work that screen action if you need to. Voter Fraud – if you haven’t been paying attention, this might be helpful. Or, it might blow a fuse. Real fake news. Then there’s this.

CONSEQUENCES: This tragedy should not have happened. There are documented actions which led to their deaths. And they feared it would happen.

WAIT, WHAT? No. Words. I understand nothing. I SAID NOTHING!

#PRIDE SHARK: 

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Another great selection of reads from Eric H who has made it possible for me to really step back and coast. Now, where’s my beer?

END OF AN ERA: Big changes at J Crew. Eric includes one late-night take from Seth Meyers: “Due to struggling revenue, the C.E.O. of retailer J. Crew announced yesterday that he’s stepping down. Store employees are being asked to wear their collars at half-popped.”

DISCLAIMER: I am only speaking for myself when I say “I would punch a man” if I caught him in one of these. Eric is made of finer stuff than me. Also, who am I kidding? The only punch for me has bubbles and hooch. But the look I would cast their way wood be withering.

RESPECT: They need to make a movie about this man. I’d prefer a documentary but I’d put up with biopic. Not gonna lie: there is a bit of an emotional roller coaster involved when all is said and done. Take a few minutes. It’s worth it.

IN THE KITCHEN, PEOPLE CAN TOTALLY HEAR YOU SCREAM: If you, like Eric, have been a fan of the NY Times’ Cooking app, you probably aren’t going to be happy about this. Also, the piece pretty much makes the case for why you might not want to find yourself in that position again.

FANNY PACKS? More like Mantility Beltsâ„¢. Am I right fellas?  Damn right. That’s settled then.

MARVEL-OUS:

(thank you)

IMPORTED FROM MEXICO…but made in America. Lucha Libre!

GAWKING: Sometimes that’s just what it is. In this instance, it would be Amazons. So, you know what you’re in for.

NERD GAWKING: The dude who directed this has started his own studio to provide an outlet for sci-fi and assorted genre short films. Aside from the music on these trailers (one) (two), this could be loads of fun. And he’s got some A level talent along for the ride. I would add that if this is your thing and you’re not checking out these guys, you should.

QUICK HITS: Defense. | Aurally historical. | Big Brass Balls. | Fire up the grill! It’s salad time.

DIGGING AROUND IN THE BACKYARD…and boom goes the dynamite. Wait? No? It’s not that at all? Oh, alright then. Just don’t let that find lead to this.

NEVER FORGET: Killdozer.

JUST SIT RIGHT BACK AND YOU’LL HEAR A TALE…Barf bag not included.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.