New Jennifer Lawrence, Classic Wonder Woman, and an Honest Weather App

WONDER WOMAN! The only one that matters. 

(thank you)

THE PT BARNUM OF FAST FOOD: I can’t even. Come for the “there’s a reason this hasn’t existed before now” novelty sandwich* and stay for the companies which have “liked” his Facebook page.

LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK? I have a totally new appreciation for these things. But as a card carrying agoraphobe, I think I can go without.

SPEAKING OF SOMETHING HELPFUL: This should probably be required for everyone. With periodic refresher courses.

DESIGNATED SURVIVOR: The real deal. It’s not what you think.

DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP?

(thank you)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? This seems…dangerous? It seems like there are more than enough super-mega-run-the-world kind of companies already? At what point does it end? With just the one company to rule them all? Anyhoo, back to the specifics. Apparently there are other people who are also more or less not all all pleased by the prospects. Then there’s this.

UNEXPECTEDLY RANDOM BONUS MEDICAL NEWS OF THE WEEK: Go ahead and get stuck. Then drunk.

WE ARE LOST: Who is responsible for burying this incredibly significant feat? This should be celebrated from coast to coast. What happened to us?

AWKWARD: I’m just going to leave this right here.

TELL IT LIKE IT IS: Say goodbye to all your weather apps. This is all you really need.

PICTURED:

OH FFS: We aren’t even trying anymore. And by we, I mean, you know, an exaggerated conglomerate. Possibly in mobility scooters. I am so completely channeling Meredith Brooks right now.

HEY YOU: See this guy? Don’t be like the guy. I would kick him guy in the nuts if I caught him doing that.

HARD KNOCKS AT THE PENTAGON: This had to hurt. But wait, there’s more.

MEANWHILE, IN MOSCOW…Pooty-Poot’s rainy day fund is puttering out. Editor’s Note: *cough* uh *cough*… 

NO, REALLY. Are you going to tell me that no one saw this coming?

THAT AIN’T NO WAY TO TREAT A LADY:

(thank you)

NO, IT’S OK. You go ahead. I’m holding out for the horse head or the unicorn.

WE ARE NOT LOST: These kinds of things are happening all the time. We just never hear about them. That’s too bad. I just might love this woman. And don’t even get me started on this little girl because just don’t.

THIS, EXACTLY: Somebody buy this man a beer.

THE MESSENGER: I can’t even imagine having to give somebody news like this. So I am going to set the attitude aside and just be grateful for everything I have and for my friends who are my family.

INTERWEBS ADVENTURE OF THE DAY: Come for the adorable little finger fruit. Be amazed at the url left in your browser history.

INCOMING!

OK. First thing: stop giving away so much of the damn movie. Another thing: “classic” sci-fi movie tropes. Last thing: jeremiah-monkeyballs that is beautifully filmed. Editor’s Note II: Can we also just take a moment and give it up for Chris Pratt? He used to be the gooey dude on Parks and Rec. Now he’s playing tonsil hockey on screen with Jennifer Lawrence and is an action star. Bravo to him.

BONUS INCOMING UPDATE: More on that Oasis documentary including a new trailer and the announcement that it will play for one night only in American movie theaters.

*That was pretty much an intentional landmine. We all know that neither hotdogs or hamburgers are sandwiches. So yeah.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.