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Decking Stereotypes, Area 51 for Subs, and an All Star for the Dossier

September 30, 2016 By Tim Johnstone | Heads up: Buying via our links results in us getting a commission (not always, but just about), which helps keep the lights on around here. We also take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

eric-all-star-smallDOSSIER SPECIAL EDITION: THE ERIC H FILES!

Yuuuge thanks to longtime Dappered reader and All Star Dossier contributor Eric H for sending us a whole bunch of interesting items to share with you guys this week.

NOODLES OF THE GODS: For those about to ramen, this guy salutes you. Also, here in our little corner of the continent, we are about to get a Ramen/Ping Pong establishment. We have reached a new exalted status.

WITNESS PROTECTION BOVINE? A little privacy please?

BLOOMIN’ BLOSSOMS AND A DIET COKE: I don’t believe I would have ever expected such a touching read set in an Outback Steakhouse. Nonetheless…

WAIT, WHAT? This is supremely gratifying. Having said that, I believe we can see beauty all around us on a daily basis. We just need to pay attention.

AUDIBLE ERIC: All Star Eric also has an ear for music. This band seems very much in tune with what I’ve been going back to since the debut of Stanger Things this summer. As Eric says, it reminds him of “the music sound track for obscure dark 80’s synth wave indie movies.” John Carpenter would approve.

AND SO IT BEGINS…

it-begins(thank you)

THE SUITABLE MILLENNIAL: JCPenney is still trying. Something. At least they’re trying to make something happen instead of tearing something down like the oh-so confident writer. I kind of want to hate him for being so sure of his opinions when, frankly, it’s all subjective and personal.

FOOL ME ONCE…Well this is either the worst coincidence ever or this guy is just generally effed.

IT’S ALL OVER: That moment you realize that you are just one more scientific breakthrough from social oblivion. Sigh.

WWW.BESTKOREA.COM: Yes, North Korea has the internet. And yes, it is about what you expected, only slightly sadder.

AFTERWORDS…

trainspotting(thank you)

GEOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING…This state is bordered by six other states and one country. It is the definition of land locked. And yet, it is home to the Area 51 of submarine bases. 

ALMOST PARADISE: Oooh, too bad that uber-antibiotic resistant Gonarrhea is getting in the way of your scenery and such. Also, HEADS UP!

RESPONSIBILITIES: As citizens, we have them even if we’re not familiar with them. And in the process of getting familiar with them I remembered this and this.

WELL SHITSNACKS: While I’m giving this the stink-eye, I’m still not convinced it’s actually true.

AIN’T THAT ‘MURICA: Because, it is now a thing. Then there’s this.

THAT HAD TO HURT: Dolphin takes out surfer.

dolphin

Then there’s this.

MEANWHILE, BENEATH THE WAVES…seems like Sebastian‘s pals are doing their thing.

DECK TIME: Once again, stereotypes are made to be broken. This is great to see and a pretty big example for other kids.

IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES…until it hits too close to home?

WELL THIS IS AWKWARD: We aren’t very nice. By nature.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.

Filed Under: Etc. Tagged With: consequences, dossier

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