How to really sell Whiskey, The Next Ocean’s 11, & “Language is Messy”

ONCE UPON A TIME:

(thank you)

#the70swereastylechallenge

FOR THE RECORD: This really is how you sell whiskey. Apparently, before Bill Murray did it, Sammy Davis Jr did it right. Yeah baby.

WHEN COUNTING SHEEP DOESN’T HELP: I am so damn grateful that this is not a problem for me. You might not be this lucky.

HEY MAN. Nice ride you’ve got there. It would be terrible if something happened to it. Editor’s Note: Who the hell puts an automatic transmission into neutral as they’re driving/coasting?

SPEAKING OF SWEET RIDES: This is a fantastic example of defensive engineering.

WHEN STYLIZED EYELASHES ARE NOT ENOUGH…

(thank you)

BEYOND THE GREEN: Into the fire. #whatscomingnext

THOSE KICKS WERE FAST AS LIGHTING! These woman could kick my ass. I am not proud. But I am beyond impressed. Not even kidding.

STATISTIC OF THE WEEK: I imagine there are implications to this news. But I’m not the person to figure them out.

I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THIS HERE…not that it will probably change anyone’s mind.

BECAUSE. HE. CAN.

(thank you)

MEANWHILE, IN SWEDEN…can’t even wait to see what you know who has to say about this. Also, headline of the year contender, that one.

THIS IS WHY WE’RE FAT: This just makes my stomach hurt. And maybe some other things. Does it seem like we just have given up?

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN: I can’t begin to imagine how many heads are going to explode over this. Meanwhile, I’m game (editor’s note II: Me too. Can’t wait). And I know the complaints…can’t anyone come up with their own ideas anymore? For me, it’s about story telling. And it really is not so different from what happened to stories as they were handed down from generation to generation. From era to era. It becomes a kind of story that people continue to tell. Not this one probably. But maybe you get my point.

AND BOOM GOES THE NIGHT TIME SKY:

(thank you)

BECAUSE I AM A NERD…this fascinates me. Also…”something other than a work of unthinking Nature.”

TECHNOLOGY…giveth and it spread it around.

AND THEN THERE’S THIS: Kid gets out of creepy situation with his Gizmo Gadget. Don’t know what a Gizmo Gadget is? Neither did I. That is an expensive babysitter for a 10 year old. But I can’t even argue with how it saved this kid.

SCIENCE! Hey, maybe you ought to watch that video about how to easily seed a pomegranate right about now. Also, an interesting piece about smoking, dopamine and addiction.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.