It is the rare person who is never confronted with the possibility of a long-distance relationship sometime during their life. You go on vacation and meet someone, or you attend the same college but will be spending the summer in your respective home towns. Maybe you meet someone via social media, or through friends or family members when you’re visiting. A job or school takes you away from an established love…we’ve almost all been there. If you’re in such a situation right now, you may be having a hard time deciding what to do. The truth is, there’s not a wrong or right answer to this quandary–do we stay together? But it helps to consider the following points–below, the arguments for and against long-distance relationships.
YES. They are worth it
Because… Absence does make the heart grow fonder
Being separated from a love can act like lighter fluid on a fire. You pine for that person when you’re away from them, and when you’re reunited, everything is more passionate and intense. As long as there’s something solid behind that intensity, a foundation for a real relationship, it’s kind of great to feel so desperately in love…at least in the short term.
Geeze Jay, just get in a boat and start paddlin’.
Because… You get more personal space and private time
If you’re the type of person who needs a lot of alone time, or you feel easily smothered by romantic entanglements, a long-distance relationship might be kind of perfect for you. You have a very predictable schedule–the freedom to do your own thing most of the time, but then the ability to set aside specific time for your love when you know you’ll be together.
Because… Short-term pain is worth long-term reward
For the people for whom the long-distance is likely short-term (for instance, study abroad for a semester, the possibility that your girlfriend could easily move to where you are after a time, etc), it’s a relatively small price to pay for long-term happiness (assuming you’re really crazy about your other half). Yes, the distance is a pain in the butt right now, but if you can live with the hassle, once the distance is gone, it will seem like a, well, distant memory.
NO. They are not worth it.
Because… It’s hard to establish and maintain trust
Is there a bigger mind-effer than knowing your hot boyfriend is 400 miles away and lonely on a Friday night? Ugh. If you’re prone to jealousy, long-distance is going to be the worst for your psyche. You will likely drive yourself–and your partner–insane. Being in love should bring out the best in you, right? So for some people, the worry and obsession just isn’t worth it.
Distance, and love, and distance again.
Because… It’s expensive
Dating someone far away is expensive. Yes, talking on the phone and emailing has made it more possible and cheaper as far as regular communication goes but road trips and flights eat up a lot of money. If you’re short on cash, or saving your pennies for something else, it may just not be possible to maintain a relationship long-distance.
Because… There’s pressure when you’re together
Ever had a rotten week at work, and accidentally ruined date night with your girlfriend because you just couldn’t kick your bad mood? If you felt regretful later on, you probably thought to yourself, eesh, well, I’ll make it up to her next week. And you could, because time really wasn’t a factor. But when you’re dating someone you only get to see one weekend a month–or less–there’s a lot of pressure for everything to be perfect. It’s an added stress that can make dating someone long distance not enjoyable at all.
Got all the facts, fellas, time to make your choice…
About the Author: If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked. That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: email@example.com .