Confession: I love those lists that are supposed to reveal something about your personality based on your likes or dislikes. They’re totally ridiculous, take a look at this sampling: What your car says about you, What your favorite dog breed says about you…and my favorite, What your front door color says about you (if my car, dog, and front door color weren’t on any of these lists, do I even exist?). It’s frivolous and fun and occasionally reveals something true. In that spirit, I present my list of drinks, and what they say about you. More accurately, this is what some women might think about you after seeing what you drink. Enjoy.
Jack Daniel’s
Drinking it on the rocks, perhaps with a bit of water, just like Frank Sinatra, eh? We’ll think you’re old-fashioned, masculine, a bit reserved (and hopefully not a cad like Ol’ Blue Eyes).
Cabernet Sauvignon
The guy hosting a party who is sipping one of the most popular varieties of wine will likely be viewed as classy and refined…even if it’s from the jug of Gallo he secretly keeps under the bed.
Vodka/Cranberry
Also know as a Cape Cod, vodka/crans tend to be the purview of younger folk. You know, when you’re learning to appreciate the actual flavor of hard liquor…but you’re just not quite there yet. Women may wonder how young you are, or perhaps think you’re just not much of a drinker (no shame there).
See anything you like?
Gin Martini
The martini drinker is old-school all the way. We see that beautiful long-stemmed glass and think polished, cultured, powerful, with a dash of danger. Basically James Bond.
Club soda
The man who goes the N/A route is dependable, safe, and easy to be around. I know men hate to have those labels applied to them, but most women I know end up with such guys, not the James Bonds of the world.
Moscow Mule
Have you spent the last year sipping a mix of vodka, ginger beer, and lime juice from a copper mug? You’re a trend follower. “Trendy” tends to get a bad rap, but there’s no harm in it when it comes to drinking habits. After all, who wants to drink the same thing season after season?
IPA
From a woman’s perspective, an India Pale Ale-drinker is a guy’s guy. Drinking a beer (manly!), and one that has big flavor, big hoppy bite–we’ll likely assume you’re into sports, Pearl Jam, camping, fishing, and cutting things with chainsaws.
PBR me ASAP.
PBR
Are you really enjoying that simple, watery lager? Or are you enjoying that simple, watery lager in the same way that I enjoy PBR commercials from the late 1970’s (i.e., ironically, nostalgically, and with a smirk)? We’re not sure, and that will likely be intriguing.
Sake
Seeing a man drink sake at a bar is the equivalent of being at your own first birthday party. You’re getting signals, so many signals that something is going on. But really, you have no… effing’… idea what is up. This guy could be cool, weird, original, creepy, or totally unremarkable.
Tequila
Party boy. We see you doing shots at the end of the bar, and unless we have a self-destructive streak, we’re steering clear. Good luck to you.
There are no words. Guaranteed there was Tequila though.
About the Author: If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked. That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com .