Porch Package Warnings, Santa Gal Kickline, & the Artful Rolex Wish

MAYBE THIS CHRISTMAS?

(thank you)

HO HO OH NO: Mother Nature is playing the role of Scrooge to retailers this holiday season. Thanks to Dappered reader Ryan for the heads up.

BALLERS: The guys who were the original hoopsters would not cotton the type of wishy washy soccer wannabe flopping players in todays NBA. No sir.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Actually, no. And for the record, this is another example of science affirming my suspicions. So, that’s kind of a relief.

SEUSSIAN STAR OF WHOVILLE:

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ROCKY  MOUNTAIN HIGH? No kidding. I just watched Space Balls last night. This morning I stumbled across this. Somehow, I’m not laughing.

NOT YOUR GRANDFATHER’S BREWSKIS: This totally explains why the handful of global conglomerates are buying up every craft brewery they can.

HEADS UP: Y’all probably already know to be wary of this sort of thing right? Also, points to whomever came up with “porch pirates.” Meanwhile, in Utah.

ALL. TIME. FAVORITE:

BY THE WAY: If you ever wondered how to introduce olive or greens in your clothing repertoire, you might should maybe totally check in over here.

FULLY COMMITTED: I imagine that the Venn diagram that features people who are obsessed with Legos and people who are obsessed with chicken McNuggets might be larger thank I anticipated.

BUCKET LIST: I didn’t realize I had one until just this minute.

IF YOU HAVE TO ASK…this is not a rhetorical question.

SANTA’S RIBBON CANDY ROCKET

(thank you)

HO HO OH NO NO: First of all, they aren’t hoverboards. Secondly, they aren’t fireproof. Or Santa proof.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT… because you might need it. Then there’s this. And finally, what…the…hamburgers? Help me, I can’t stop.

SPEECHLESS: I got all the shivers. Not even kidding. This kid can sing.

GAS BAGS: No, for reals. Science!

DON’T EVER TRY TO BITCH SLAP A T-REX:

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Megasanta vs Dinosaur (Video)

CHURCH OF THE HALF PIPE: This right here is a glorious thing.

IS IT WRONG…that I kind of think this is hilarious? Alright then, is it wrong that I’m ok with that?

FRANKLY…I’m calling bullspit on this. But it’s a lovely thought all the same. Or maybe retailers are getting more sophisticated with their requests?

SANTA’S GAM GAMS!

(thank you)

THE TIDES, THEY ARE A-CHANGE-IN: If you don’t want to read about real world consequences of our changing planet, do not click here. If you live in Miami, you probably know all about this?

THE FORCE AWAKENS? Honestly, I might go with the bug over the movie. Only kind of kidding. Because we all knew this day was coming, amiright?

THE MODERN KRINGLE: I’m just gonna leave this here. Then there’s this, which, honestly, made me die inside a little bit.

INCOMING!

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly. But he will be escaping to his secret lair for a long Winter’s nap and will return in January. Probably.