ANGLES AND SMOKE:
Angelina Jolie in By The Sea (2015).
EXPECTATIONS: This better be under my Christmas Tree this year. For the record, I have named all of the squirrels in my yard. They are Beatrice. It’s so much easier.
OH HELL NO: There are many contexts in which a quote like this spells trouble: She immediately began sliding down the stairs, and when I wasn’t able to stop her by myself, I abandoned ship and began running down the stairs with this poor woman tobogganing after me like I was Indiana Jones. This is about the worst you could expect. Thanks to our fearless leader for the heads up on this one.
MOTLEY CREW? This doesn’t look good.
VOGUE:
Upside down bats are the best bats. So many moovz.
IT’S LIKE THEY WERE NEVER GONE: If this is what we can expect on this latest evolution of The Muppet Show, I am going to be having Sam The Eagle moments to die for.
Editor’s note: Sam The Eagle, along with Pepe the King Prawn, are my “Spirit Muppets.” And I know that makes no sense.
SO THIS HAPPENED: Here kitty kitty kitty.
AND SO DID THIS: If these guys were smart, they’d sign this guy up pronto.
WE ARE WHAT WE EAT…and not enough of us are fermented. Seriously, this seems like something many of my friends should read.
EVERY DAY AT LEAST ONCE:
FATHERHOOD: Memories are made of this. Then there’s this. That’s gotta hurt.
ONCE UPON A TIME…this got me through college. We really need to figure out how to makes things less impossible for people to get ahead. Yes, there’s some hyperbole in there. Sadly, not as much as you would think.
LOVE ALL, TRUST A FEW, DO WRONG TO NONE...and don’t bogart the bong, dude.
CONSEQUENCES: There are poor decision makers, and then there is this guy. Hoo-boy. Again with the hurt.
AHEM…
We have Tesla Motors to thank for this.
OH HELL NO! “…just lie down and start screaming”. Yeah, eff that. Mother Nature can be so Tarantino sometimes.
LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: It seems like this list expands every year. Also, sometimes a beverage is more appreciated than a buck.
WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY: You best not be in the way. So much for letting it mellow.
MEANWHILE, IN SOUTH DAKOTA: Statistics and the most ginormous bottle of Jack Daniel’s ever.
THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY:
WHAT THE BREW? There are fingers that need to be pointed.
IRL: Flying Spaghetti Monster. Because Mother Nature can also play Lovecraft.
THE HARDY FILES: The guy just makes good movies. Mostly.
TWO THINGS: One I have no use for (even though I have the thing it is meant to be used for). The other I’d rather not use.
INCOMING!
Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.
