Keeping Cool, Working Less, Good Looking Gal Genes

MY LIFE, IN A .GIF:

(thank you)

H8ERS GONNA H8: But, you see, it’s stuff like this that makes me think I’d love to have a beer with this guy. Editor’s Note: Expect four of those contraptions for the 2025 Rolling Stones “Sittin’ Jack Flash / Get off of my Cloud (& Lawn)” Tour. And I would so go.

LIFEHACK OF THE WEEK: Simmer down, y’all. Just simmer down.

YES PLEASE: I would pay to see this. 

TIME FOR ANOTHER INTERESTING EDITION OF…this week in history. You might say it’s a Wonder. You wouldn’t though, because that would just be lame. Clearly I need a better filter. #colloquialismsexplained

THIS:

(oh hell yes, thank you!)

PEARLY DEWDROPS DROP: Unless you’re familiar with “Heaven Or Las Vegas” or maybe “Lorelei“, this won’t mean much. If you are, it’s so totally golden. Then there’s this.

NEVER. GONNA. HAPPEN: Americans don’t even take the vacation time they’ve earned. If they even get that. The rest of the world laughs at us. This is a lovely idea. Really, it is. But in this current climate, it’s just a pipe dream.

WHY, NO – THIS WILL NOT BE THE LAST MAD MAX .GIF:

(thank you)

WE’RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER APPLE: Well this is all sorts of encouraging.

OH THAT’S NASTY: The last thing I want to do is turn into Howard Hughes when I go to the gym, but sheesh.

SMELLING SALTS: I would need all of them if I ran into this while cleaning up.

THE JOKES JUST WRITE THEMSELVES: This guy just keeps on keeping on.

MIND. BLOWN:

(thank you)

Mariska Hargitay and her mother, Jayne Mansfield.

THIS IS WHY WE’RE FAT: But it would be totally worth it.  Also, kind of sort of related to what’s below.

THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS: As someone who has gone through some alterations in my make-up, this has always cheesed me off a bit. I’m more of a body fat percentage kind of guy when it comes to these metrics.

LOVECRAFT LIVES: If you’re a fan of the man that brought the world Cthulhu , then this is right up your alley.

SOMEONE GET ME TO DC POST HASTE:

(thank you)

DARWIN AWARD WINNERS TRIFECTA: Heavens to Murgatroyd. What. The. Hamburgers?

BATTLE OF THE BULGE: I am giving this the most side eye side eye possible.

SPEAKING OF THE SIDE EYE: But do they twinkle?

IT WAS THE MUSTACHE…in the avocado farm, with the fire hydrant.

THE SORTA NSFW DUTCH MASTER: Gods Gone Wild.

INCOMING!

Need something else to read?

• How to go bold in a couple easy steps.
• Because some of us are over summer…
• That one post about strapping on monks.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.