Andre’s Admirers, Bad Butts, & why are Mobile Phones growing?

WAIT, WHAT? BECAUSE…WOW:

(thank you)

You really should click on over here to see the back story. It’s something.

THAT ONE TIME THE FAIRER SEX WASN’T SO MUCH: And by that time, I mean 200 years. Introducing 40 Elephants.

RAGE AGAINST THE UNCLEAN: If there is one thing that sends me from zero to pissed off in 2 seconds, it’s this. The older I get, the more angry I get about this stupid, lazy habit. (And I’m not talking about smoking.)

ELBA FLIES: Maybe there is something to that whole Bond thing? Your hatchback is so embarrassed.

WATCH OUT BELOW:

(thank you)

CUBA: It’s not just about sandwiches and cigars. This is pretty damn cool. 

IT RUBS THE LOTION ON IT’S SKIN: There will never be enough lotion for this. Damn nature, the feck?

SIZE IS EVERYTHING: This never even occurred to me. Not that I’m buying it. Mostly.

ANDRE HOLDS COURT: Paris, 1970’s

(thank you)

CONSEQUENCES: Not that this is going to keep asshats from pulling this stunt, this might make a few guys think twice.

THE WORLD IS FULL OF STUPID PEOPLE: Here are a few of them. It doesn’t matter what the hell you think of the situation at hand, Robert Kraft is a multi-billionaire. Get real people.

ALTITUDE SICKNESS? Rocky Mountain High my ass.

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE MUSIC, IT’S TIME TO LIGHT THE LIGHTS: Not even embarrassed about how happy this makes me. 

Editor’s note: Pepe needs to start Prepping. The world needs more Pepe.

UNSTABLE AF: This guy. He is a bundle of bad news, wrapped in narcissism and arrogance, sealed with a fat wad of paranoia.

GOING ABROAD? Start your plans over here. Especially if you’re headed to Central or South America.

I GET A LITTLE SICK EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS:

Then there’s this…JETPACKS!

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO BET…that some knucklehead will sue these guys for “assault” because of this new system.

BROGA: It was only a matter of time. I sincerely hope none of you find yourself doing the Wrecked Doll pose over the holiday weekend. Speaking of bros, don’t be like these guys (not that you would). Because, facepalm.

IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT: An update. But for reals, certainly the finest brains in the world are working towards a solution for this problem as we speak. SOMEBODY TELL ME THEY ARE GOING TO FIX THIS.

BOOTY TIME! Looks like Captain Kidd’s treasure is ready for litigation. 

INCOMING!

Need something else to read?

• Because sometimes simple is just right.
• Spring is an excellent time to go bold!
• The debate over going commando where a sweater is concerned.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.