Dappered

Affordable Men's Style

  • Don’t Miss Anything
  • Start Here
  • Essentials Shop
  • Latest Deals
  • Style Scenarios
  • Reviews

Love in the Time of Social Media

January 3, 2013 By Beth | Heads up: Buying via our links results in us getting a commission (not always, but just about), which helps keep the lights on around here. We also take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

You're hovering a bit there bucko.Ask A Woman: Friend request or personal connection?

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it.  Beth is our source for the answers.  From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too.  Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com

 

Hey Beth,

I met this girl at a party through an introduction from my cousin. I wasn’t totally drunk when we met but my alcohol level progressed with the night. I was wondering if it’s okay for me to contact her again through Facebook, (even though she hasn’t sent me a friend request or anything), or should I ask my cousin who introduced us to get us back in contact?

I know it sounds stupid, but your help would be appreciated.

– Mark

 

Hi Mark,

Stupid? This doesn’t sound stupid at all. You’re understandably nervous about approaching an interesting woman to see if there is a possibility for romance. Good for you Mark, you are showing courage and a positive attitude. I salute you.

You’re going to need to depend on a bit of your own discretion for this one, Mark. “I wasn’t totally drunk when we met but my alcohol level progressed with the night.” What does this mean? That you were tipsy and a bit flirty with her? That you can’t remember what you may have said to her? That you ended up going streaking through the quad?

.
If you behaved appropriately that night, then either method of contacting your lovely lady works. If you decide on Facebook, make sure you send a note along with a friend request–“Hi, this is Mark, we met at so and so’s party, my cousin is Marvin O’Gravel Balloon Face and he introduced us. I was wondering if you’d like to grab coffee sometime this week.” If you had an in-depth conversation about a particular topic, you can reference that to jog her memory. Sending a message is really important–you want to be upfront and clear about your intentions. Sending a simple friend request does nothing, and if she can’t place your face right off the bat, she may not accept.

Asking your cousin to reconnect you is completely appropriate as well…assuming your cousin is a stand-up guy who’s got skillz. That is, he’s going to say positive things about you to this woman, but he’s not going to be a doofus about it. “Yeah, Mark’s a great guy, it’s about time he got laid.” No. Go. If you can trust him, ask that he contact this woman, convey your interest, briefly, and ask if she’s okay with you having her number. Do not tell him to give her your number. This is your serve so you should really be the one contacting her.

If you were sloppy drunk the night you met her, I’d advise against Facebook, and I’d recommend asking your cousin to go beyond simply passing on her phone number, and arrange an occasion where you could talk again, face to face, this time sober. A dinner party, a happy hour (you don’t need to get plastered), a sporting event, bowling, or something along those lines. That way you have a chance to reconnect in a casual way, and behave as you normally do. At that point you can ask for her phone number and see how it goes.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send it to: askawoman@dappered.com

Filed Under: Women Tagged With: Ask A Woman, dating, Facebook

Continue the Conversation …

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Send us a tweet, join the discussion on Facebook, or hit us up on Instagram!

Don’t Miss Anything

Subscribe via email to get articles in your inbox or add Dappered on Flipboard. You can also follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Or subscribe to push notifications to get alerts immediately.

New Here?

Well, welcome to Dappered. Here are what we consider the most useful posts on the site if you're looking to put a little more effort into your appearance. Just want to see our favorite menswear products? Shop our essentials here.

In Review: The Baltic Aquascaphe Classic

In Review: The Baltic Aquascaphe Classic

Automatic, assembled in France, and 39mm. It’s the tool watch attempting to be all things to most people.

Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Sharp, dark, and handsome for a nice night out.

Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More

Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More

There is a peculiarity about the Rhone pack deals though.

Follow Dappered on Instagram »

Men’s Fashion or Affordable Style?

Men's Fashion or Affordable Style?

Fashion is temporary and expensive. Style is timeless and affordable. Dappered® helps you work the retail system so that you can be comfortable, look sharp, and save money.

Want to share a great product? Email Us.
For a fit perspective, see Joe's measurements.
Make sure to read our affiliate disclosure.

CONNECT WITH DAPPERED

Thanks! Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Most Popular on Dappered

  • BR Factory New Arrivals (and 49% off), Seiko 5KX decent price, & More – The Thurs. Men’s Sales Handful
  • Monday Men’s Sales Tripod – Rhone Polo & Commuter Shirt Savings Packs are back, & More
  • The 2023 Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Her
  • Spier launches new $298 Half Canvas Suit Line – The Best Wedding Suit under $300?
  • Style Scenario: Groundhog Day
  • Style Scenario – Valentine’s date night dressed up, going out

Popular Topics

  • Best dress shirts to own
  • Best looking watches under $100
  • Best men’s dress shoes under $200
  • Nike Killshot sneaker alternatives
  • How to wear a suit without a tie
  • Suitsupply store review
  • Suitsupply Blue Line review
  • J. Crew Factory Thompson suit review
  • How much does it cost to tailor a suit?
  • Dopp kit essentials
  • Brown shoes with gray pants
  • Men’s style buying guide

Copyright © 2023 Dappered.com | Dappered, LLC | Dappered® is a registered trademark of Dappered, LLC

Hat tip: Magazine Pro Theme On Genesis Framework

Dappered does not collect or sell its users personal information | Disclosures: Privacy and Affiliates, Gilt.com, FTC

WPE

We work with partners that use cookies to understand how visitors use our site. Find out more.