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Vanity Thy Name is License Plate

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You're hovering a bit there bucko.Ask A Woman:  Thinking about getting a vanity plate…

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it.  Beth is our source for the answers.  From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too.  Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com

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Hi Beth,

I’m a big fan of your posts and it’s great for a young guy (21) to learn from a woman like you.  I’m thinking of getting a custom license plate, but I’m having trouble coming up with something that won’t come off as tacky or be a turn-off to women.  I’m just tired of having a random string of numbers on my car–it’s an individualist thing I guess.  I’m in Virginia, so custom plates are relatively popular too.  I don’t plan on “picking up” women with my car or anything silly like that, but I feel like there are rules to what you can put on your car.  Is there any way to do this?

-Herman
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Hi Herman,

There are a lot of firsts in this week’s column–never met a dude named Herman, never got an email about license plates.  I say hurrah to both.  Though I’m happy to kick in my two cents, I’ve never had such a strong reaction to/opinion about my license plate being a random string of numbers/letters.  And I wouldn’t spend the money myself, but since you feel strongly about it, and you can do something to change it, why not?

My main piece of advice is to pick something that is not…douchey.  Or offensive.  Let me give you some examples. BLEWBYU–as in, wow, I’m so fast in my 1997 Pontiac Bonneville.  SOCOOL–if this is ironic, it’s not translating well to hammered metal form.  MILFLVR–ummm…hopefully I don’t have to explain why this is lame.
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“Cosmo Kramer…you ARE the assman.”

Now,  on to what you could consider for a license plate.  If individuality is your concern, you should consider your hobbies and interests.  Big fan of deep sea diving?  SCUBA.   Proud Michigan state alum?  SPARTY.  Football fan?  TCHDWN.  Yeah, okay, some of these are truly lame…this is why I’m not in the market for a vanity plate.  I just don’t get jazzed enough about it.  You’ll have to rely on your own brilliance to come up with something snappy.  SNAPPY.  Stay away from referencing people or situations that might be temporary.  For instance, if you’re dating Amber, I wouldn’t recommend a plate boasting that you’re her man: ASSTUD.  Tragic on several levels.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com

Comments

  1. Here is rule #1: Don’t get a vanity plate. Vanity plates are a huge pet peeve of mine. 99% of them are douchey.

  2. As soon as I saw the title I figured this guy was from VA.

    EVERYONE in VA has vanity plates.

    I plan to get some as well, but it’s so random no one (but myself) will probably recognize it as a vanity plate.

  3. As a second year at UVa and someone who has lived in Virginia all his life, I have to agree, for some reason there are way too many vanity plates around here. And they are a huge pet peeve of mine as well, for some reason driving in an M3 that says “TomzToy” really detracts to me from the image of the car.

    But hey if youre in a dodge neon, knock yourself out I guess

  5. If I were ever to get a vanity plate, I’d get one that looks like a randomized sequence, but has some special meaning to me. For instance, I love physics, so I might go EMC-911. (Relativistic emergency! Ahhh!)

  6. I live in VA. Drive an infinity and have vanity plates. I’m a big fan of the Indy Colts so mine say “GOCOLTS”…. In fact, I’ve lays had a license plate dating back to high school. Back then it said Lucille, which was my cars name. 🙂

    Be sure to wave as I pass you by on the douchey streets of Virginia!

  9. Here in MD, it cost $50 a year to have vanity plates. That mean you are spending $50 a year to say something to everyone that sees your ride.

    better make it count, because sticking your name or some bassackwards nonsense on your plate will backfire.

    I think the coolest tags i’ve ever seen were on a old Porsche. they read “91 964”. i also saw a guy in Annapolis, MD with “NVWSSV”.
    —————————————————————————————————
    Really? I love Dappered I noticed this while reading the post, kinda funny that somebody took the time to do this:
    “Ask A Woman:  Thinking about getting a vanity plate…”

  11. What’s your plate plan?

    Don’t understand why Virginians think vanity plates are cool. Unbefreakinglivably lame.

  12. I’ve lived in a lot of states and you are right, VA seems to have more than everywhere else I’ve been…even CA.

  13. I recently got my first vanity plate (1 out of 35 cars I felt deserved it). It is on a white 73 Monte Carlo hot rod…GWSHRK. Makes sense when you see the car.

  17. Saw this guy in the middle lane on VA 267 last month. Does that make him arrogant AND unreliable?

  20. Used to have one on my motorcycle: PLRVR

    I thought that was a good one, as not many got it, but those that did loved it.

  21. I dislike vanity plates for all reasons mentioned. However, if I ever owned a car worthy of such, I would love the delicious irony of plates that read “VANITY.”

    In regard to those rejected NY plates, someone actually thought they could use “COCAINE”?

  22. Great post – I agree that the majority are douchey. However, I think sometimes it’s fun to be douchey, whether ironic or not. Especially if you are a bit of a goof – women can find it endearing if you call yourself out for being corny/cheesy and having self-awareness. That said, I have already have mine picked out for when I complete my doctorate. Yes, douchey, but that is why I love it. PHDEEZ. (I will likely get a lot of ‘down’ votes for this – but I’m just being my honest self).

  23. The other 1 %? EXTREMELY douchey.

    That said, I used to live near someone who owned a Prius with a vanity plate that read “TARDIS.” It was delightful and I laughed every time I saw it.

  25. I’ve lived in VA pretty much my whole life so I never realized that vanity plates weren’t as common in the other states.

    When I was in college, I had the following plates CDZNUTZ. They won’t approve that anymore. Not sure how they let it slide through back then. The funniest thing was the people that didn’t get it who would come up to me and be like ‘you must really be crazy about cd’s huh?’

  27. I think that with all the douchey vanity plates out there, the one that lists the year and model of the car are the worst. It shows that you’re trying very hard to brag and also that you’re as creative as a tub of tapioca pudding. Yes, you drive a 2009 911, there’s no need for a “09 PORSH” license plate.

  29. A good friend of mine has a blue Civic with a ‘T4RDIS’ plate. It’s actually been a great conversation starter for him.

  30. In Ohio, there are thousands of regular license plates that start with the word ‘FAP.’ That’s an argument for vanity plates if I’ve ever heard one.

  32. I’m english and I used to have TIKTYBU. Best one I ever saw though was on an Aston Martin, it was SKINT

  33. If I recall correctly, one state recalled various license plates that had the letters WTF in them.

    Best vanity plate I ever saw was at a strip club and said TKITOFF. Belonged to a dancer I presume.

  34. The guy who wrote to Beth is 21. Vanity plates are fine for a 21 y.o. If you’re 25 or older, no.

  35. I agree. Putting ‘BENZ CLK’ in case we missed the other markings on the car is just idiotic.

  38. A guy in my building who has a strip club and a stripper as a girlfriend got her a Pink Porsche Boxster with vanity plates saying GR8BOX. Now that’s a vanity plate I can get behind.

  39. “i’m just tired of having a random string of numbers on my car”

    Bro, you need to drink a beer and let loose a little, or file down your VIN too, thats like three times as many numbers

  41. Illinois has awesome White Sox plates for sale. I think that can be cool as long as there isn’t a stupid slew of letters on it.

  42. Don’t…….just roll the dice man. You never know you could end up with a magic plate like a friend of mine did (DWN-269)

  47. 21-year old with a vanity plate here. The biggest piece of advice I have is to get something personal. Getting a vanity plate is something you do for yourself, so remember who the target audience is. Go for something original that reflects your personality or interests. For example, I have 2 middle names, so I choose my initials (CJCS) for my plate. As long as your plate isn’t anything obnoxious, no one else should have a problem with it. And if someone calls you, “douchey” just because you have a vanity plate, chances are they’re much more of a douche than you are.

  49. I got my vanity plate as a gift though. I think they can be okay when they’re personal or funny. But there’s always the really crappy ones too. In my neighborhood there’s I (heart) H8RZ.

  50. Say what you want about vanity plates, but my ex girlfriend had XXX XXX on her x5. I’ve also seen 8B8B8B8 around town. With block letters 8 and B look very similar, I thought it was clever.

  51. Why? Are you trying to make it easier for police and others to read and remember your plate number? If I was going to get a vanity plate, I’d go for something deliberately difficult to parse. Like “1ILH11UI” or “OD0QD0”, or “71L7JI1” .

  52. Embracing your idiocy/dorkiness is something people need to do more. This is why I have a lot of fun in life.

  54. Vanity plates? Beth, I assume you get dozens of questions each week, what were the other front runners this week? Truth is this, regardless of gender or their physical appearance, some people have the “detailed oriented” gene while others don’t…So those without that gene won’t even notice your plate…But who cares, if it makes you feel good do it, but it’s such a minor detail don’t expect big reactions…Here’s a speeders trick…Get a combo of Is and 1 or Xs and Ks, eg: 1II1I1I or KXXKKXK, very difficult to read your plate unless you’re right behind it…

  56. There was a car club (street racers) around here that all had a random combination of 7 Os and/or Qs on all their cars. They all had the same model car in the same color. Made it difficult to identify them individually.

  58. I’d suggest not playing armchair interwebs content consultant, especially after 57 comments have come in. It’s jag-ish, but then again, there’s your handle. Not every column is going to be a homerun with everyone. Feel free to write in if you’d like: askawoman@dappered.com