Dappered

Affordable Men's Style

The Won’t-Be-Misssed List

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Unlike some things that raise a stir when they up and disappear (Bonobos codes, INC ultra light blazers, etc.) some things in Men’s Style wouldn’t be missed by many if they ceased to exist.  There’s no intention to be mean-spirited here.  Sometimes you wonder if these things are still around because nobody said: “hey, so… y’know…”  Leave any additions in the comments.   Top Photo Credit

#1.  Faux Collars / Zip in bibs under jackets – Especially those that aren’t removeable.  Kill the coat dickey.

#2.  Wallace & Barnes at J. Crew – J. Crew is already on the high end of “affordable” retail.  This stuff, which is also made by J. Crew, is more expensive and doesn’t look all that different from their main line (although it might be a step up in quality.  A reverse J. Crew Factory if you will).  Always interesting to see when they include this sub-brand in their “in-good-company” sections of their catalogs.  Collaborating with yourself?  Can’t you go blind from that?

#3.  Emails from retailers extolling the virtues of one item – Steve in Jackson Hole loves this down jacket!  That’s swell Steve.  Really not good when the product they’re pushing is something you’d have no interest in whatsoever.

Dude.  I am a dude.

#4.  Pleather elbows on blazers – Many an otherwise great blazer have been ruined by these things.  It must cost money to adhere them to the jacket.  Here’s to hoping that brands in love with these things cut costs and thus, cut them out of future designs.

#5.  Matching tie + Pocket Square sets – As sad as a Pajama-gram on Valentine’s Day.

#6.  Ralph Lauren Denim & Supply – Still trying to figure out just what precisely this is all about.

#7.  The “You forgot something in your online shopping cart!” email – Nope.  Didn’t forget.  Just left it.  Would be more likely to go back and complete the purchase if the retailer’s follow up email instead read: “We encourage you to reconsider your incomplete purchase, because if you don’t buy that shirt, you’ll die alone.  And with a rash.“

#8.  Suits with more than 3 buttons – Somebody call Shannon.  He needs to lead the intervention for Doug.


 That’s at least four.  Maybe five.  All buttoned too.
.
#9.  Immensely long receipts – Buy one pair of socks and the receipt handed to you looks like the Dead Sea Scrolls.

#10.  Functioning sleeve buttons on affordable blazers and suit jackets – The attention to detail is appreciated, but all this does is make tailoring the sleeves close to if not totally impossible.  Tough to show some shirt cuff otherwise.

#11.  Mannequins with eyes – Or worse yet, mannequins with names.  Or those who are yelling.

#12.  Shirts with collar stays permanently sewn or glued into the collar – Regular old slots are just fine.  Let’s those of us who are hooked on Wurkin Stiffs actually use them.

#13.  Style websites that write too many “list” articles – Hey now.

Additions? Disagreements? You think retailers will ever get the hint about functioning sleeve buttons? Leave it below.

Nightmare fuel.

Comments

  2. 10 makes me so angry.

    It costs a minimum of $75 for a competent tailor (and probably closer to $100) to alter functional sleeves.

    On a $500+ jacket, this might be OK. On a $99 jacket that you bought with a 40% off coupon? No way in hell.

    To make matters worse, most labels that do this also use very long sleeves, so it isn’t even like an average guy can get away without tailoring. LEC puts 34-35″ sleeves on their medium sportcoats, and even their smalls are 33″. They’re clothes designed for that tiny portion of the population that is very tall and very skinny. For everyone else, they expect you to walk around with your sleeves rolled halfway up your forearms the way that they have to model the things because no reasonable person could fit into them.

    Some brands even do this on jackets with a pattern that requires matching. There’s just no way to alter that and have it look good. You must be 6’2 and 130 lbs in order to look reasonable.

  3. #4. Pleather elbows on vests
    Didn’t know vests had sleeves in which the elbows could have patches.

  8. It is a bit rediculous that retailers can have 30-40% off sales every day. It makes me feel like they are ripping us off with their regular retail pricing. Most companies could only dream of a profit margin so large that they could afford a 30% markdown. Ahem….GAP BR
    Not trying to rant, but if you want to talk about recession…wages aren’t going to rise to meet the prices of goods or housing…maybe America needs to reconsider pricing.

  10. Clothing is usually marked up at least 2x (that is a shirt that costs $5 for production, shipping, marketing, etc. is sold for $10) but could even be 3,4, or 5x depending on the actual market conditions for the item.

    Just one seed for thought: Remember that stores will often sell the most of “average” sizes, but they can’t neglect the people that need XXS or XXL which are fewer in number. Hence, on clearance racks, you will see a higher proportion of those odd sizes. You have to model the costs of those unsold items as well as other market conditions in your pricing (e.g., people buy fewer high quality, durable goods because they are high quality and durable so the pricing model for a washing machine is different from boxer shorts).

    So while the profit margin per item may appear high, in reality, the profit of one M shirt is covering the losses of say 3 XXL shirts that are unsold and may have to be donated or sold at a loss.

    There are many more aspects to the business, but again, just wanted to give you something to think about.

    And this is all over the world, not just America. A tailor in HK needs to consider his costs, the target profit margin to stay comfortably in business (and to make sure it’s worth it to keep operating), market conditions, and then price appropriately.

  11. You may have no interest in the Brooks Brothers Quilted Bag, but I certainly have taken an interest in the girl in the Brooks Brothers Quilted Bag ad…

  12. I actually like functional buttons on blazers. My question: why not sell blazers with different sleeve lengths? It’s like, we’ve admitted that people who buy dress shirts have different sleeve lengths, but everyone who buys a 38R blazer has the exact same size arms.

  14. “Collaborating with yourself? Can’t you go blind from that?”

    not surprising. j.crew is known for circle-jerking.

  15. Actually a great point. Having never really thought about it – why do retailers assume we all have the same arm length? Just because its easier?

  17. Agreed. When you need a receipt to prove that you bought a pair of basic socks, or a coffee and donuts, you have a bigger problem than most of us.

  18. Keep in mind retailers make way fewer XXL shirts to avoid this problem. They’re not selling 1 medium shirt at a higher price to make up for their expected losses on XXL shirts (or else they wouldn’t make XXL shirts) – they’re trying to make the perfect amount of shirts for each size.

  20. Nothing if you want to look like you’re going to prom or are a made man. Otherwise, it’s a bit tacky.

  22. Thanks Ryan. That’s exactly right. They should be modeling their sales data and fitting their production to their trends to prevent gross overproduction of something that isn’t going to sell very much to begin with.

    I acknowledge there are more factors than just covering the costs of unsold goods, but I just wanted to give 1 easy to understand concept as an example. Usually you take 1-2 courses in some graduate degree program plus internship time to get the whole picture — more than what we have here on the comments! 😛

  24. What’s the point of functional buttons, though? Do you really unbutton your blazer gauntlets? If so, are you a magician? If so, can you teach me so I can earn some extra cash to pay for the extra Benjamin it costs to get those sleeves tailored?

  32. I’ve never actually seen #1 – is that the same as wearing a vest under a jacket/coat? Or is it one of those 3 in 1 jacket things?

  36. +1000 for comment #10 (functioning button cuffs). This is really trendy lately and I’ve had to rule out 75% of blazers I was shopping for because of this.

  38. Hey, now! There is not a single thing wrong with list articles. They’re guaranteed to be informative, and perfect for grabbing and holding our attention. Especially now that the Internet and tabbed browsing have whittled our collective attention spans down to nothing.

  40. This is the only fashion site that has some humor and self awareness (and connection to reality). I <3 you guys.

  41. Wallace & Barnes has a sick henley I will probably buy. Glad they got put on the list or I would have never seen it.

  42. I’ve got a pea coat with a bib that zips up just inside the front opening. The collar pops up out of the coat and looks kind of like a quarter zip sweater under the coat. It’s not so bad… until someone realizes it’s a bib, not a sweater.

  43. Haha yeah it literally didn’t even cross my mind. It’s almost like the joke itself was camouflaged. Comedic genius?!

  44. “I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut… I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, ‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here… It’s in my file at home. …Under “D”. For doughnut.'”

    Mitch Hedburg

  46. That’s there business model – the perpetual sale. You should feel like an asshole paying full retail at BR, Express, Lands End, or Macys. You allowed yourself to get ripped off because you couldn’t wait until the next 30% coupon comes out in a couple days.

  48. I happen to fit in that “tiny portion” that is tall and skinny. Considering 95% of the well designed clothes out there doesn’t even come in tall sizes, I’m afraid you’re going to have to take one for the Man Team here.

    You’ve got a thousand options on where to get your cheap blazers – Us tall, skinny folk? Not so much.

  51. Thanks a lot. Now I’m going to have nightmares. I didn’t even know such things existed!

  52. “What’s the point of functional buttons, though? Do you really unbutton your blazer gauntlets?”

    If you have functional buttons, sure, you unbutton the last button to show them off.