Dappered

Affordable Men's Style

  • Start Here
  • Essentials Shop
  • Latest Deals
  • Style Scenarios
  • Reviews
  • Forum

Bowties. Why, how, and do women like them?

January 12, 2012 By Beth | Heads up: Buying via our links may result in us getting a commission. Here's why.

Ask A Woman: Should a man stray from the standard necktie?

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it.  Beth is our source for the answers.  From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too.  Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com

 

Hey Beth,

I’ve got 2 separate questions for you.

1) Any thoughts on alternative neckwear?  I wear a suit, shirt, and tie to work 6 days/week, so I like mixing it up a bit.  To work I’ll sport the occasional bowtie, and to go out I have a nice red silk ascot.  Bit dandy-ish, I’ll admit, but IMO it’s a fun way to mix up the same ol’ same ol’ we’re used to.

2) If you live in the NYC metropolitan area or ever come around on vacation, will you marry me?  No?  Then maybe we can start small, and I can take you out one night?  You seem like a fun date.  Very truly yours,

Richard

 

Hi Richard,

A marriage proposal from a man who wears an ascot?  How can I refuse?  Generally speaking, I like alternative neckwear.  Initially I tried to fit both bow ties and ascots into a single column.  FAIL.  Neck wear is a heady topic, and there is simply too much to discuss.  So this will be a two-parter, Rich.  Can I call you Rich?

First we tackle bow ties.  Wearing a bow tie (or an ascot, for that matter) requires two essential components, as is the case with most fashion risks: 1) opportunity and 2) cojones.  For the former, I think you’re making the right choice–wearing the occasional bow tie for a day to catch a break from the traditional necktie.  You do run the risk of looking perhaps a bit nerdy, a bit foppish.  But it’s an intentional look so it works.

Men don’t have as many options for variety in dress clothing as women do, so I say mix it up however you can.  A short list of some bold men who embrace the bow tie: Brad Goreski (stylist & reality TV darling), Andre 3000, Swiss Beatz, and Indiana Jones (what? he’s not a real person?).  You’ll notice that but for Mr. Jones, the choices in bow tie and then accompanying shirt/jacket patterns/colors are all bold and bright.  I don’t know how much flexibility you have in your work place with crazy colors, but it seems like wearing a bow tie sort of gives you permission to be zany.  Like if you’re going to go for it, go for it.  If you do want something more restrained, I love this look–burgundy and gray are such a great color combination.


Zany.  You run the risk of looking it.

Other considerations?  Pay attention to the size of the bow.  Too big and it looks like a costume piece.  Shape is important, too.  Here Matthew Broderick looks like a weinie because the loops of the tie are too wide (tall?) for his non-existent neck.  This is a much denser shape, plus the material and construction are very modern–probably my favorite bow tie look I’ve come across.  There are several choices for material–the traditional silk (my favorite), velvet (which strikes me as dated) and even crochet (another look I’m not a huge fan of).  Finally, for instructions on how to tie a bow tie, see this clip or this diagram.

Considering you proposed to some crazy virtual chic from the Internets, I think you’re set for the second requirement needed to pull off a bow tie, but a couple pearls for wisdom for you anyway.  It’s fine, of course, for you to love your bow ties.  But you need to be prepared for other people to go, “whoa, hey, that guy is wearing a bow tie and he’s not my grandpa’s age”.  In other words, not everyone will embrace your commitment to atypical neck embellishment.  Here’s an example from my life.  I wear mostly skirts and dresses, and with these items, I like to wear a variety of different colored/textured hosiery.  The other day, someone told me I looked like a smurf.  I looked down at my bright blue tights, and it did give me pause for a moment.  But I also thought, well, what the hell did I expect?  I still like those tights; I’ll still wear them again; that experience just reinforces for me that style should mostly be about me, not about the reactions I might get from other people.

Next week–ascots.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com

Filed Under: Clothing, Women Tagged With: Ascot, Ask A Woman, bow tie, do women like men in bow ties?, should I wear a bow tie?

Continue the Conversation …

Want to share your thoughts on this article? Send us a tweet, join the discussion on Facebook, or start a discussion on Dappered Threads, our forum!

Don’t Miss Anything

Subscribe via email to get articles in your inbox or add Dappered on Flipboard. You can also follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

New Here?

Well, welcome to Dappered. Here are what we consider the most useful posts on the site if you're looking to put a little more effort into your appearance. Just want to see our favorite menswear products? Shop our essentials here.

Most Wanted Affordable Style – December 2019

Most Wanted Affordable Style – December 2019

A big statement coat, gym gear for bigger gainnnnz, and a big wish for the holidays.

Quick Picks: Brooks Brothers 40% off shoes & accessories one day sale

Quick Picks: Brooks Brothers 40% off shoes & accessories one day sale

Stacks with their giftcard deal too I do believe.

The Dappered Gift Guide for… The Shoe Guy

The Dappered Gift Guide for… The Shoe Guy

What to get for the guy who’s got a thing for shoes.

Follow Dappered on Instagram »

Comments

  1. Mike N says

    January 12, 2012 at 6:44 AM

    Enjoyable post als always Beth. One thing I’ve noticed is that (at least in my workplace) people who wear bowties come off as trying to hard. Now this could be due to some bias on my part or lack of confidence on theirs, but just an observation.

  2. Gioforeal says

    January 12, 2012 at 6:56 AM

    “The other day,someone told me I looked like a Smurf …….”Yeah,Sexy Smurf….

  3. Bookman says

    January 12, 2012 at 6:57 AM

    Great post, Beth!
    Every guy should try out a bow tie….after you do, you’ll know if you are the type of guy who is meant to wear one (the exception to this is black tie, for which every man needs to wear a bow tie). I wear bow ties a good bit, and have rarely gotten anything but compliments. I would say three pieces of advice: 1)It is a lot easier to wear a bow tie with a sport coat than a suit (aside from black tie, a bow tie is less formal than a neck tie), 2) bow tie size is best decided in proportion to one’s head…large head, fatter butterfly, 3) NEVER buy a pre-tied bow tie…ever…imperfection is part of the charm. 

  4. JRS says

    January 12, 2012 at 7:09 AM

    I wear bow ties, and in fact prefer them to long ties. How you wear it is equally important, because it’s a matter of how does it fit in with your outfit as a whole. If you wear one with a patterned shirt, v-neck sweater, and skinny jeans, it absolutely looks like a gimmick – as opposed to if you wear one with a crisp white linen shirt, navy blazer, and pressed chinos.  

  5. Bennynojets says

    January 12, 2012 at 8:00 AM

    I, too, wear the bow tie to mix it up.  I typically get nothing but compliments, but I had one strong negative reaction from a Board member that I report to for work.   He said he doesn’t trust people in bow ties because narcissistic people wear them to be different from everyone else. It caught me off guard.  I tried to reassure him that was not the case with me.  I also said that draping any piece of silk (or other material) around your neck is a bit foppish to begin with so there isn’t much difference between a regurlar tie and a bow tie.  Needless to say I no longer wear bow ties on days that I interact with him.

  6. guest says

    January 12, 2012 at 8:16 AM

    I agree, definitely wouldn’t work in my office.  That being said, it’s super conservative — so much that skinny (not pencil, just thin) ties are out.

    I have bowties, but keep them for when I wear formal attire.  I do have more than your basic black, but depends on the occasion what gets worn.

  7. guest says

    January 12, 2012 at 8:18 AM

    I never understood why grown men ever think pre-tied bow ties were a good idea.  It’s the same thing as a clip-on necktie — leave them behind after you’re old enough to know the difference.

  8. Wrecking Ball says

    January 12, 2012 at 8:19 AM

    Love this site because it (writers and readership) understands the merits of cultivating personal style. I’m a recent bow tie convert after years of eye-rolling. Once I took the chance, I discovered they DO work for me, and I toss ’em in now and then to break things up. It doesn’t hurt that the missus loves ’em, either, but a confident man shouldn’t dress to suit the tastes of others (e.g. the board member above … that guy’s biases are HIS problem). If they work for you after your try ’em, rock ’em out and own them.

    It is pretty amusing to me that people (mostly those north of the Mason-Dixon) consider bow ties the domain of hipsters and rappers. Please. 

  9. Derek says

    January 12, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    I’d love to try out bow ties, but I have little enough occasions to wear regular ties as it is. My office is pretty casual, so I still get a little bit of teasing wearing a regular tie just once a week, even after doing it for a while now.

  10. Derek says

    January 12, 2012 at 9:28 AM

    Generally, I approve, though. Bow ties are dope.

  11. Weewoo says

    January 12, 2012 at 9:42 AM

    Where can I get that bowtie!? The grey and gold one.

  12. TheBarNone says

    January 12, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    I love my bow ties and if you shop right you can often get them fairly cheap.  I picked up some nice looking ones at Macy’s and Dillards.  I also have a couple pricey custom made ones from a company in Colorado Springs.

  13. BenR says

    January 12, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    To me, bow ties are like hats – you really have to be a certain kind of guy and already have cultivated a certain kind of image before you can wear one without looking pretentious or d-baggy.

  14. cool story brah says

    January 12, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    Agreed. I work in a conservative profession and you either wear a traditional tie/jacket or just a dress shirt. Anything else and you get death stares from the older partners

  15. Bennynojets says

    January 12, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    I have also found many nice bow ties on the cheap.  If I am looking for something specific, I order from here: http://thecordialchurchman.com/

  16. Dan Flores says

    January 12, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    I think geographical location is an important factor too. Here in the SF Bay Area, it could come off as “hipster,” or in my view – a fate worse than death.

  17. Sweet Bottle of Bang says

    January 12, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Richard, rock the Bow-Tie and be confident with it. I work in government, where the norm is to wear a regular tie (which I often do) but on occasions where I want to mix it up a bit, I’ll go with the bow. I am far younger than than the Dept.-Heads, Directors and doctors I work with but surprisingly have noticed that when I’m wearing the bow tie I am referred to and greeted as sir more often than when I am wearing a traditional neck tie. Gentleman notice it and appreciate the look and the ladies love it too, often stopping me to chat about my choice in neck-wear. 

  18. Anonymous says

    January 12, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    No! Don’t let them lay claim to it.  As a well-dressed man, you have a duty to protect classic style from ironic co-option.  I demand you sport one on Monday, and twice a month ever after.  Fight the fight!

  19. Anonymous says

    January 12, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    Can confirm: chicks dig it.

  20. Marshall Lilly says

    January 12, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    This rule works 99% of the time for bowties (and pocket watches):

    If you’re younger than retirement age – No

    If you’re older than retirement age – Yes

    Most (and I stress most) younger guys trying to pull these things off just end up looking like asshole.

  21. Christian Rodriguez says

    January 12, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    They’re “in style” right now and some people are embracing them and look good. I personally dislike them and wouldn’t wear one unless its on a tux which I’ve personally seen looks good. Bow tie just yells out formal for me.

    But there’s also people who look terrible wearing them. And you could also do those math equation Beth loves to do. I personally think guys should avoid bow ties if:

    1) They were ever called “dweebs” in grade school.
    2) They’re overweight.
    3) Wear plastic frames.(unless you rock a sweet beard like dude above)

  22. Josh says

    January 12, 2012 at 5:50 PM

    I wear a bow tie from time to time and Beth was right on both counts: the occasion is key (overuse the look or wear it out to the bar on the weekend and it does say “old”), and you have to know going in that you’ll get the “what are you, 80?” at least once. I also think the bow tie should be the focal point. Unless everything else is subtle, it WILL look like you’re trying too hard. But my experience is that reactions are 99% positive. 
    Secondly, pre-tied bow ties are for boys to wear when they’re ringbearer at a wedding or their mom dresses them for the precocious look in school photos. Never pre-tied for an adult. That being said, I’m sad to say that I’m 99.99% positive that the bow tie Beth mentioned as her favorite (https://trendycrew.s3.amazonaws.com/paris-fwaw2009-bow-tie.jpg) is of the pre-tied variety. I don’t see any tails, just loops, and the loops don’t cross quite right at the knot. Bummer. Figures though, since he’s also wearing frames with no lenses. Great look if it was all legit.Finally, http://www.thetiebar.com – I love that site. $15 for great quality ties. Their “normal” width are actually fairly large though, FYI. http://www.beauties.com is also good, almost exclusively bow ties, but pricier. 

  23. Josh says

    January 12, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    Yeah, wrong link in previous comment for Beau Ties. Don’t click that one. This one is correct. I am now very embarrassed. 

    http://www.beautiesltd.com/

  24. Codybrick says

    January 12, 2012 at 7:33 PM

    Or, just live in the South.  Bow-ties are not as common as regular straights, but there are usually several people wearing them at any function.

  25. BenR says

    January 12, 2012 at 10:58 PM

    I loled.

  26. Loki says

    January 13, 2012 at 5:54 AM

    Bow ties MUST be tied, not clip on.  They must NOT be perfect.  As to size, that depends on the guy wearing them, what’s huge on one is OK on another.  I like them because they are never flopping over to one side or blowing in the breeze the way long ties do.

  27. West Jeff Lawyer says

    January 13, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Interesting, I chose today of all days to wear a bowtie to court.  It was just a plea hearing, but the clerks thought it was for a jury trial, and all said I looked nice.  I’m all for breaking out the bowtie ever now and again, just to off set the stern always wearing a tie look.  It took 15 minutes this morning to get on right, but I think it was well worth it.

  28. Rhynes1 says

    January 14, 2012 at 8:47 PM

    I’ve actually been wearing bow ties with jeans lately at work (I work with PC’s so I have a little bit of a pass, though not much). It’s hard to know how to wear them without looking too formal. What I’m really trying to go for is a slightly nerdy business casual-ish look. I’ve gotten striped bow ties from JCPenny, they are polyester, but they are self tied, so I’m hoping that gives me points 😉 I’m looking into wool bow ties also, they seem to be more “in” from what I’m reading, but of course no stores sell them in my area so I’m forced to look online an hope that if I purchase that the picture did it justice.

  29. Rhynes1 says

    January 14, 2012 at 8:48 PM

    Just curious if it’s better to ease into bow tie wearing on Fridays and call it bow-tie friday for fun 😉

  30. Anonymous says

    January 17, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    Too timid.  Just wear the f*cker.  Anybody asks why you’re wearing a bowtie, say, “because I like the way it looks.”

  31. Erik says

    January 17, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Yeah I buy mine at http://www.thetiebar.com, http://www.beautiesltd.com, and Nordstroms. All the ties at the tie bar are $15 too!

  32. Cannon says

    January 17, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    I’m not a bow tie guy. Don’t have one, don’t want one. I like standard neckties.

  33. Dan Flores says

    January 19, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    So you’re telling Rich there’s a chance, yeah!!

  34. guest says

    January 19, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    this would be all the more reason for wearing something out of the norm to me lol

  35. Peter Matarrese says

    March 4, 2012 at 11:31 PM

    I’m surprised no one else caught the most glaring error in this post:  it’s Dr. Jones!

  36. CJtheRebel says

    January 13, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    To me, a bow tie is either for a more casual feeling (for example, I wear them to Ole Miss football games) and for the extremely formal. I tend to wear regular neckties for more professional atmospheres.

Men’s Fashion or Affordable Style?

Fashion is temporary and expensive. Style is timeless and affordable. Dappered® helps you work the retail system so that you can be comfortable, look sharp, and save money.

Want to share a great product? Email Us.
Continue the discussion at Dappered Threads.
For a fit perspective, see Joe's measurements.
Make sure to read our affiliate disclosure.

Connect with Dappered

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Most Popular on Dappered

  • The Dappered Gift Guide for… The Tailored/Suited Guy
    The Dappered Gift Guide for… The Tailored/Suited Guy
  • The Dappered Gift Guide for… The Shoe Guy
    The Dappered Gift Guide for… The Shoe Guy
  • Style Scenario: "Fancy" Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation
    Style Scenario: "Fancy" Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation
  • Steal Alert: EXPRESS Merino Hoodies are $30
    Steal Alert: EXPRESS Merino Hoodies are $30
  • Quick Picks: Brooks Brothers 40% off shoes & accessories one day sale
    Quick Picks: Brooks Brothers 40% off shoes & accessories one day sale
  • Style Scenario: What to Wear to a Dressed Down Holiday Party
    Style Scenario: What to Wear to a Dressed Down Holiday Party

Popular Topics

  • Best dress shirts to own
  • Best looking watches under $100
  • Best men’s dress shoes under $200
  • Nike Killshot sneaker alternatives
  • How to wear a suit without a tie
  • Suitsupply store review
  • Suitsupply Blue Line review
  • J. Crew Factory Thompson suit review
  • How much does it cost to tailor a suit?
  • Dopp kit essentials
  • Brown shoes with gray pants
  • Men’s style buying guide

RSS Latest on Dappered Threads

  • Help with a winter coat?
  • Another help with outfit for a holiday party thread
  • Post some clothing items you highly recommend
  • HELP! Very Unique Style Scenario
  • JCrew Ludlow Essential Slim fit suit suit in stretch four-season wool*

Copyright © 2019 Dappered.com | Dappered, LLC | Dappered® is a registered trademark of Dappered, LLC

Hat tip: Paul Olson, Magazine Pro Theme On Genesis Framework | Disclosures: Privacy and Affiliates, Gilt.com, FTC