Ask A Woman: Buying clothes for her. Is it worth the risk?
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
Beth:
Like a lot of the guys who visit Dappered, I don’t mind getting out and shopping for clothes for myself. I enjoy it, but I enjoy shopping for others even more. I just recently tried shopping for my wife for the first time. She has an incredible sense of style and always looks amazing whether we’re going out or not. But she just doesn’t like the mall, and recently she’s been saying she wishes she had some new, nicer clothes to wear.
We’ve been married eight years, and aside from the occasional jewelry purchase, I very rarely buy her clothes or accessories. I know she’s been wanting a few more dresses and skirts. Should I take the plunge and surprise her with a few things that I think she’d look great in? I’d keep the receipts of course. Or is that just weird?
– Rob
Hi Rob,
I know readers have been skeptical in the past about men buying gifts of clothing for their partners. But I think it’s a wonderful idea in the right circumstances. What are those circumstances, you ask? Remember when I gave y’all some formulas for figuring out when to buy flowers from a florist versus a grocery store? Let’s do it again!
- You are known for your impeccable style
- You are known for your stained sweatpants
- Your partner has eclectic, unpredictable taste
- Your partner has a specific style (classic, neo-hippie, urban, hipster, etc) that is pretty consistent
- Your partner would rather have a colonoscopy than go shopping
- Your partner would rather go shopping than have sex
1 + 2 = This isn’t possible. Move on.
1+ 3 = This could go either way. You have a good chance of picking something well-made, in a great color, that someone would love…but that someone might not be your sweetheart. Start with something small–like a pair of inexpensive earrings–and see how it goes. If she loves it, go bigger; if she hates it, either figure out why for next time, or give up.
2 + 3 = Hell to the no.
2 + 4 = I still don’t trust you, sir.
2 + 5 = Meh. I don’t see any harm in trying to buy clothing as a gift, and your lady would certainly appreciate the gesture. Just save that receipt and don’t be hurt if she decides to return it.
1 + 4 = Absolutely, go for it. Sneak a peek in her wardrobe at what she already has so you’re not duplicating, then go nuts.
1 + 5 = See above.
2 + 6 = False. In fact, you’re done 2. Be gone with you.
1 + 6 = Just because your gal loves shopping, it doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy getting a gift of clothing from you. Don’t make it a regular event, but on occasion, if you’re passing a storefront and see something you suspect she’d love, indulge.
1 + 3 + 5 = Ugh. Too much math. Is this still a style column?
If you do decide to buy your wife clothing, Rob, make sure to take into account her body type and coloring. If she has very pale skin, you probably want to buy bright clothing instead of pastels, so that her complexion isn’t washed out. If she’s broad-shouldered, you may want to stay away from items that have really structured shoulders, like blazers, so that she doesn’t end up looking like a line-backer.
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
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I bought my wife of 12 years clothes for the first time last Christmas. I went online and searched women’s body types, (they compare them to fruit) found out what type she was abd what would look good on her, & then took a cue from the colors she wears the most. It’s as easy as learning about style for yourself. She loved 95% of the things I got for her. But I think most women are just glad you put forth the effort.
The things that I have picked out for my significant other or bought for her are the things she wears the most. As Matthew said above, I think women love that effort and knowing that you know them well enough to understand their style.
The things that I have picked out for my significant other or bought for her are the things she wears the most. As Matthew said above, I think women love that effort and knowing that you know them well enough to understand their style.
Make going to the mall a fun date. Make it festive. Have a nice lunch or dinner while out. Help HER to go buy clothes. But no, I’m of the “you cannot buy clothes for women” persuasion. It just won’t work.
Hmm, this was even more unhelpful than the average column in this series. Here are some actual tips:
1. Unless the woman for whom you are buying is a size 0, never buy her anything with horizontal stripes or a horizontal plaid. Even if they don’t make her look big, she will think they do.
2. Don’t buy a woman with large shoulders a halter top: same basic reason as #1.
3. Women with nice hourglass figures can wear most anything. Women with broader hips or a less well-defined waist, however, will be more flattered by A-line skirts and empire waists, less so by pencil skirts, belted dresses, or long clingy sweaters.
After that, it’s just a matter of taste: if your wife has taste you understand, you can follow the same rules to find flattering clothing for her. If you can’t understand what she likes, don’t try.
+1
Be observant regarding sizes, styles, colors. Put in the effort up front and it will pay you back every time she puts it on.
Science rules!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3351615/Horizontal-stripes-make-you-look-thinner.html
http://www.1designer-clothing.com/wp-content/uploads/vertical-horizontal-dress.jpg
Yeah, but… all those tips are going to be worthless if you’re a total prick.
I would caution folks to tread lightly in this area if the woman in your life has any known weight or body insecurities. It can be embarrassing or hurtful for a woman to receive an item in a size too small (she has to exchange it for something bigger) or too big (she’s hurt that you assumed she was bigger than she is). Take a look in her closet if you can – stick to sizes from brands she already owns when you can. Women’s clothing is even more all-over-the-map in terms of sizing variation than men’s, so this is probably a good idea regardless.
When in doubt, accessories like shoes and scarves are a good alternative.
Thank you for this, and by “this” I mean posting that Sesame Street video, because that song will be stuck in my head all-day…which may be a good thing, so I can get the song stuck in my coworkers’ heads as well.
This article is just titled incorrectly. It’s more about whether not how to buy clothes. Would love to see a how to article though.
Fair. But that’s on me and not Beth. The guy asking the question wasn’t asking for a how-to. Changed.