Ask A Woman: When you’re of two very different stylistic minds
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Beth:
My issue at present is that I am of two, very different and very distinct, stylistic minds. As a college history major, I have a fetish for antiqued things ranging from wax seals on letters to fountain pens and swing dancing. This is beginning to translate into my fashion choices as I start to favor pocket watches and wingtips or tailored khakis over the traditional college uniform of ill-fitting basketball shorts and high-top Nikes (It’s summer here). While I perceive this as a good thing, there is another side to me that favors the exact opposite, namely: Neon sneakers, shutter shades, and overall a more toned down Kanye West.
So Beth, as a woman, do you think its more appealing when a man is consistent in his attire, or tends to surprise with contrast? Should a young man be consistent in his style or have an…artful dichotomy?
– Forrest
Hi Forrest,
As our fearless Dappered leader remarked, you must look like you fell out of the 19th century one day, and a NYC club the next. I understand this pull to two (or more) different aesthetics. I suspect that some of our readers feel the same way…though perhaps less extreme than what you’re describing here.
However, I have to cast a vote in favor of consistent style. I think other people should be able to recognize you on a day-to-day basis. There should be a common thread (or a common century, at the very least). I’m not advocating a uniform, but I like the idea even of a single consistent piece that is your calling card. Maybe you always have an interesting–and varied–watch. Maybe you live in jeans (though different styles/cuts/colors) and dress around them. Maybe you own man cardigans in twenty different colors.
You ask whether it is appealing for a man to surprise with contrast, but I don’t think that’s really what you’re doing here. Sherlock Holmes on Monday and Kanye West on Tuesday is beyond contrast. It’s time travel. Surprising with contrast would be an unusual color combination, or busting out a hat one day when you typically favor a bare head.
But I hate telling people they can’t wear something, or laying down style rules that are unflinching. So here’s the challenge I’m presenting to you–pick one aesthetic over the other, but see if you can incorporate DETAILS from the other.
Go with Kanye, steer clear of the neon, but then use a pocket watch. Go with Sherlock but subtle, classic aviators (sorry, I don’t think shutter shades would translate, and in fact, I don’t think they translate on anyone in any time period, but that’s a different column). It might fail, I mean, you’re trying to meld two very different styles, but it’s worth a try.
So there you have my take, but as I often do, I’d love to hear what the faithful Dappered readers have to say. Are you pulled to more than one aesthetic (and if so, which ones)? Do you think it’s more important to be consistent, or to satisfy your style cravings?
-Beth
Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com
I very much so agree that its a matter of combining two styles to see what works. The outcome could result in a distinguished style that is trendy or in failure.
That’s the best part of the guidlines/recommendations from dappered is that you can use them to see what works best for you
Forrest,
I have the same exact problem. There are many different ways to dress in terms of style and I like to explore each one individually. Right now, I settled on two different styles, but they are both complimentary with each other.
My styles consist of an urban cowboy in which I wear dress boots, express shirts and a nice pair of slim fitting jeans (I recommend Express or Levis). I can wear this with or without my cowboy hat, but because of my location right now for college, I opt out of the hat. However, my other style is simply prep where I can still wear my dress boots and express shirts but maybe layer it with a vest or cardigan. Or perhaps I will wear an oxford instead and a knit tie. I like to punk things up occasionally with this tie from the tiebar. It’s a great skinny tie with subtle attitude that you’ll be sure to get compliments on.
I guess my advice is to find a style where you can use the wardrobe you have right now equally and efficiently for both dress styles but don’t ever be afraid to add a splash of color or incorporate a different texture or meaning to your style. People will notice (in a good way) and commend you for it.
“Create your own visual style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others”-Orson WellesFigured a history major might appreciate that quote.www.theleisurestudy.blogspot.com
I agree with Beth; but……you are in college. I say experiment with multiple styles and see what fits you the best. The key trick is to start identifying the details that make you feel confident in a variety of settings…this comes over time. When you graduate and have to go to the real world, there will be little place for Kanye (unless you are writing for Rolling Stone), so have at it now….
All of that said, take the shutter shades and drive your car over them; then put the car in reverse and drive over them again.
I am also a college student, but I am not really pulled in two directions, rather I am always trying to balance between being “that guy” (“that guy” actually exists on my campus, he is a real person!) and being just like everyone else. I think what you want to do is always be one or two steps above the rest, but not in a showy way.
I go with slim dress pant/dark denim jeans with Express 1MX. Occassionally I will wear a vest just to change it up a bit. A ton of people compliment me on my style, I also get the occassional, why are you so dressed up? The key is to have more compliments than Who the F does he think he is?
I find it hard to imagine that not all of us dappered readers have this sort of problem. We wouldn’t be reading this (awesome) website, otherwise.
I have the same problem in that I love Ivy/Preppy style but also the rugged Canvas/Denim/Leather boot style as well. It’s difficult, but not impossible, to incorporate the two. I’m starting to learn that my hard facial features lend more to the rugged look.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it will take some trial an error. Lots of error. But when you nail it, it will be worth it.
I have a similar experience, but I wouldn’t call it a problem. It’s really an advantage. The fact that you would wear stunner shades just means you will be able to pull off other things that are more classically aligned.
Wear khakis and loafers, but wear a bright, bold patterned polo.
Wear a dress shirt and a tie, but wear pink seersucker pants.
Wear a well-tailored charcoal suit, but wear cheap, yellow sunglasses from Target (seriously).
That’s probably more prep than what you described, but you get the idea. Plus you are in college so you can get away with so much more.
I’m from Montana (The Last Best Place!). So despite my general proclivity toward wearing things like tweed jackets, wingtips, linen pants, and woven ties, I am also drawn toward Frye boots, Carhartts, flannel shirts, Stetson hats, and things that come in your choice of RealTree(tm) or blaze orange. One of my favorite stores is Murdoch’s, formerly known as The Big R. It’s a “ranch supply” store that sells tons of workwear and Western wear.
I’ve yet to buy a cowboy hat or cowboy boots, but I’ve come really close on more than one occasion.
I like to wear an urban sombrero every day. No exception.
I notice that the gentlemen who are split between styles are of the college age, and I can relate I had the same experience in college. A friend once told me then that “One day you are George Straight and the next day you’re dressed like f****** Tupac.” He was exaggerating of course, but I was stuck between the country attire I grew up with and the more urban attire of most college students. However, I eventually figured out what worked for me, which I attribute greatly following the advice of sites like this, and more importantly wearing what I know looks good for me (big fan of “The Uniform”: dark jeans, dress shirt, blazer, and a sweater if it is winter). So my advice is don’t sweat it too much, you will figure out what works for you as the years go on.
I have a bit of this style identity problem as well. As a recovering abercrombie frat boy, I’ve been trying to move away from the overbranded tight muscle tees and move into a more classic style. I love the rugby 1800’s newsie tweed vest aesthetic but it’s difficult to incorporate it without looking like i’m in a costume. I end up buying new cool clothes and not wearing them because I feel like a kid dressing up. My very young looks don’t really help either. But I guess it will work out into something in the end.
Forrest sounds like a hipster to me. Like an oddball thinks-its-fun to over style and choose things that are unconventional. Not a horrible thing, but not something that people stick with as they mature.
I dont know who “they” are, but im pretty sure that “that guy” is their leader.
Yo, a deerstalker is a hat for wearing in the outdoors–the forest and the like. Not in the city. Holmes wouldn’t wear one in the city, and in fact is never described as doing such. Thank you, that is all.
People have to audition styles to see what feels like “them.” It will come eventually. In the meantime, maybe a strong sense of which styles for which seasons/occasions.
I’m going to take a different approach here and say don’t try to have a style. Don’t pick a style and adopt it, just pick out things for your own personal reasons, and your style will manifest itself. You first option sounds just like that. You aren’t trying to look like “classic guy” you actually LIKE history and pieces with some historic class, which then translates into a look for you.
A person’s style should be a true reflection of their personality, their taste, or the group they identify with, not just a look they picked because “hmm… I need a look”.
Funny thing, if you take most recognizeable “looks” each individual aspect of it was originally worn for a real reason, specific to the group that made the look known. IE: Biker boots and leathers, cowboy boots and hats, skaters and airwalks/SB dunks, etc.
Just pick out things you like on their own merit and you’ll see a look will develo itself.
On a side note, since you do have a taste for classic fashion and historic style, in addition to pocket watches, have you looked into nice mechanical wristwatches? It doesn’t ahve to be expensive and the pieces themselves have a really cool timeless quality.
Most guys that are seriously into high end mechanicals like rolex, hamilton, etc will go track down used ones on ebay or at pawn shops. Because classic mechanical wristwatches keep well and are often so identifiable by year, model, etc buying, say, a 12 year old Rolex isn’t treated like “buying used stuff”. its treated like buying collector’s items, just like classic cars or baseball cards. Its a big hobby for some guys.
I completely agree that this is a common problem everyone has due to the duality of man/woman. But in the aforementioned article it seems as if there is a bit more to it than just a “contrast surprise”. Personally I think what Forrest is actually interested in is the 19th Century clothing style while also being while also indulging in some of the fad like dressing of Kanye West. Chances are in 5 or 10 years you’ll still be widely interested in 19th Century fashion and far less interested in the Kanye’s current style.