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How much would it cost to get you to wear… this.

June 10, 2011 By Joe | Heads up: Buying via our links may result in us getting a commission. Also, we take your privacy rights seriously. Head here to learn more.

Putting a price on wearing this poLOL’D – $35.94 (reg. $59.90)

Mother’s the world ’round have for eons taught their children that if they “don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  More often than not, that’s good advice. But…

Holy Sh*t Tranquility. Holy Mother of F*ck.

Here’s the full effect, ready for you to visually absorb:
.

Popping the collar is akin to throwing magnesium on a forest fire.

Again, discretion is the better part of, uh… valor… so instead of pointing out where some of us might stylistically disagree with the designer of this garment, let’s setup a hypothetical scenario:

You’re headed to a party at a friend’s house.  Nothing too dressed up.   There will be women there.   Your friends will be there.  And the deal is you have to show up, wearing this, and wear it for the entire evening without letting on that you’re being paid to wear it.

So?   Pressure’s on… What’s your price??

Leave the financial compensation you’d demand in the comments section below.

Meanwhile, the solid, striped, and kinda busy striped/contrast placket Express Signature polos are on sale for under $20. Use the code 1449 for $25 off $75.  Code 1454 should (should) get you $50 off $150 or $75 off $250, but that’s a boatload to spend.

Filed Under: Clothing Tagged With: Express, how much would it cost to get you to wear, loud, pique, worst polo ever

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Comments

  1. andrew says

    June 10, 2011 at 8:13 AM

    No

  2. Albert says

    June 10, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    $500 and you have a deal!  😉

  3. Nate says

    June 10, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    Can I also pretend to be a jockey or NASCAR driver? This shirt would be right at home in a Halloween party!

  4. clan says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    It would cost a new seiko 5 with the black face & dial, a new umbrella and a quality pair of shoes, maybe some suede wingtips? i think yes.

  5. Anonymous says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    cost huh…il take 10 bushells of corn and wheat in equal quantities…lol…this shirt is disgusting…only thing as sad as this shirt are the people who will buy and sport it like they are Gods gift to humanity…lol, pardont the pessimist in me today guys..havent had my tea yet…

  6. Vincent A. Cipollone says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Since I have rent to pay and I’m a poor college student, I’d probably do it for $100.

  7. Frank says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    Such a simple task, I’d do it for 20 bucks… Slip the blazer on over it and thats easy money :).  Whats that you say.. unfair? Well my friend, you should have made more stringent guidelines… lol

  8. Lew says

    June 10, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    Free drinks all night and a limo for the evening, done deal.

  9. Anonymous says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    My considerations:  I’m too new to the style game, that this would look like something I’d have worn before, and would pass without comment.  Unfair advantage to me.  Had I been dressing as I’ve been for the last couple months for a year or more, this would be so out of character as to be horrible.

  10. Anonymous says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    that said, if you’re in shape, and it fits you well, you could certainly do worse than this shirt, imo.

  11. daliam says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    I’d do it for $50, since I’m gay and won’t be trying to impress any girls.  If Mr Right shows up, though, the bet would make for a nice ice breaker…

  12. Brian says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    I’m gonna have to go with Adam from Workaholics and say $900, firm.

  13. Beej says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    I’d do it for some hair gel hair, knee high socks, and a pair striped adidas flip-flops. Or, for free if I can bring Megan Fox – she’s needs some extra dough now too, right?

  14. BenR says

    June 10, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    I’ve long avoided Express stores for precisely this reason. Much, if not most, of their stuff is plain ridiculous. Not to mention overpriced.

  15. Willie Beamon says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    It depends where you’re at in life.  It’s not objectively that terrible, but I don’t like that it says “express.”   I would take that white face Seiko 5 w/a leather band for it now, but I could have justified paying under $20 in undergrad.  Clothes are important, but if your confidence goes completely w/ your shirt, you have bigger problems to deal with…

  16. Joe says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    Ah ha!  But you can’t tell Mr. Right either… “and wear it for the entire evening without letting on that you’re being paid to wear it.”  No icebreaker then.  Does that raise your price?

  17. Scott says

    June 10, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Nice call. the “express” is like saying Valor “light” to my eyes. Still. $250 and I’d wear white capris and loafers with no socks, just so people would understand it is a joke. That or you’d accidentally start a new trend.

  18. Email360180 says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    FREE. And only because I like a laugh. Even at my expense. And who knows, maybe some Eurotrash hottie chick will totally be into me and want to take me to a rave or club or something, or whatever it is the type of person who wears these things does.

  19. Derek says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    It’d take several hundred dollars for me.

  20. Derrel says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    I just showed my coworker and he said he’d wear that before a Steve Harvey suit, any day. Lol

    But I’d wear that for a $50 Uniqlo gift card. Fair deal.

  21. Bruce says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    HE SAID 9000, haha that show is killing it

  22. Jed says

    June 10, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    I think I’d accept those as fair compensation. For one wearing of course. Preferably in the privacy of my own home.

  23. Jackson says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    Would the collar have to remain popped and would the shirt front just happen to nonchalantly stay tucked behind my belt buckle all night?  These details might up the asking price considerably.

  24. Humberto says

    June 10, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    $500 in cash, plus 3% interest if late.

  25. Jared Krauss says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    1463 doesn’t work, just tried in on two solid signature polos, blue and navy blue.  Said it was invalid…

  26. Joe says

    June 10, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    Indeed.  Looks like they invoked the entire “Terms subject to change.”  Now it’s only $25 off $75 with code 1449.  Code 1454 should (should) get you $50 off $150 or $75 off $250, but that’s a boatload to spend.  Fixed. 

  27. Greg Dalby says

    June 10, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    Yiked

  28. Dan Patrick Flores says

    June 10, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    If I was going to an annual dbag convention, I’d probably do it for free…just to fit in.

  29. Naka says

    June 10, 2011 at 9:47 PM

    A pair of brass knuckles and the mouthguard I would need. 

  30. John says

    June 11, 2011 at 12:54 AM

    Hey I have #4, #15, and #7 from the Loyalty Valor Express, they’re my favorite team!

  31. Brock Tinnell says

    June 11, 2011 at 7:14 AM

    20 bucks and free drinks if the collar is down.  100 bucks and free drinks if the collar is popped.

  32. andrew says

    June 11, 2011 at 8:01 PM

    WHAT 9000!

  33. Anonymous says

    June 11, 2011 at 11:23 PM

    A french guy on my rugby team wears a shirt like this to rugby practice.

  34. Nelson says

    June 12, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    How is it that this look is popular in Europe and the Jersey shore of all places?

  35. Jwedel says

    June 13, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    you do realize thats $75.50, right?

  36. Anonymous says

    June 13, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    lol

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