The Dirty Dozen – Foods to be extra careful around
Because it’s just not cool to use your napkin as a bib. But sometimes some of us wish it was.
1. Frozen Fruit – Especially blueberries. They’re delicious, but they’re sneaky little assassins.
2. Pasta Sauce – Clorox must love Italian Restaurants. You’d think the napkins would be red.
3. Olive Oil – Looks like water at first. Just a drop, it’s dark. And then later on you realize… it’s not water.
4. Red Wine – swirl swirl swirl SWIRL… *splash* … Godd#mn it.
5. Salsa – Especially the good stuff that’s not all one mucky texture. Chunks fall, they plop, it’s everywhere.
6. Beer- Usually doesn’t do too much damage. Unless you’re three beers in, believe the can is empty, crush it down at your hip and spill the last two swills on your suede shoes.
7. Coffee – When the hole in the lid lines up with that seam on the side of the cup? You’re screwed.
8. Soy Sauce – Not all of us are experts with chopsticks, so by the time we’ve eaten the boat, there could be damage.
9. Rice Cakes / Crackers – As men, we like to stand and eat. Do that with a rice cake and you’re left with a nice dusting of what looks like dandruff. Not a stain, but you’ll be reaching for the roller if you’re in a sweater.
10. BBQ Smoke – More of a food byproduct, but it permeates. Nobody wants to smell like a rib-eye.
11. Toothpaste – Not a food, but close enough. Use whitening toothpaste and you’re twice as likely to somehow manage to drip on your navy blazer. Use a Sonicare and that number quintuples.
12. Pen Ink – Also not a food. But pens can end up temporarily between our teeth. Fumble the jaw to hand exchange while staring at a computer, the pen lands on your just tailored this week sport coat, and there will be swearing.
Your turn. Know of any other foods that are dangerous to consume while wearing good clothes? Leave those below…