She wants a pixie cut. But he doesn’t.

Ask A Woman:  How do I get her to not chop all her hair off?

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Beth:

My girlfriend of a year and a half has been hinting around at cutting her hair extremely short.  Pixie cut short.  I’m not a fan of the super short haircut on women.  Now, of course she’d look amazing with any hair style (feels like I’m required to say that) but how do I get her to not do something so extreme?

– John

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Hi John,

I don’t think couples should tell each other what to wear or not wear, how to style or cut their hair, and so on.  Our appearance is one of the few places we as individuals have total agency and some level of control, and I think it should stay that way.  You want to tell your significant other to stop leaving her wet towel on the damn floor, or that you’re putting your foot down when it comes to feeding the dog from the table, that’s fair.  But matters of style and the body are trickier.

I do think you can give her your opinion.  Once.  Next time she mentions it, just come out and say, “You know, I’m not a fan of that haircut, and I think your hair looks great in a longer style.”  Incidentally, you’re not required to say you think she’d look amazing with any haircut, because most people don’t look amazing with any haircut.  I, for example, have a very round face, so much of my haircutting and styling aims to slim my face.  If I got a pixie cut, my face would look like a pair of ham hocks set side-by-side …which I should like to avoid.

So tell her what you think and then leave it alone.  Your opinion will matter to her, trust me.  If she goes ahead and cuts it anyway, it means she really, really wants the cut and no amount of badgering from you would probably make a difference anyway.

On a related note, I once had a boyfriend who really wanted me to shave my head–this at a time when I had very long hair, halfway down my back–because “if you look good bald, that will prove that you’re really hot.”  That logic seem off to anyone else?

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