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She wants a pixie cut. But he doesn’t.

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Ask A Woman:  How do I get her to not chop all her hair off?

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it.  Beth is our source for the answers.  From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too.  Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
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Beth:

My girlfriend of a year and a half has been hinting around at cutting her hair extremely short.  Pixie cut short.  I’m not a fan of the super short haircut on women.  Now, of course she’d look amazing with any hair style (feels like I’m required to say that) but how do I get her to not do something so extreme?

– John

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Hi John,

I don’t think couples should tell each other what to wear or not wear, how to style or cut their hair, and so on.  Our appearance is one of the few places we as individuals have total agency and some level of control, and I think it should stay that way.  You want to tell your significant other to stop leaving her wet towel on the damn floor, or that you’re putting your foot down when it comes to feeding the dog from the table, that’s fair.  But matters of style and the body are trickier.

Elisha Cuthbert's Pixie

I do think you can give her your opinion.  Once.  Next time she mentions it, just come out and say, “You know, I’m not a fan of that haircut, and I think your hair looks great in a longer style.”  Incidentally, you’re not required to say you think she’d look amazing with any haircut, because most people don’t look amazing with any haircut.  I, for example, have a very round face, so much of my haircutting and styling aims to slim my face.  If I got a pixie cut, my face would look like a pair of ham hocks set side-by-side …which I should like to avoid.

So tell her what you think and then leave it alone.  Your opinion will matter to her, trust me.  If she goes ahead and cuts it anyway, it means she really, really wants the cut and no amount of badgering from you would probably make a difference anyway.

On a related note, I once had a boyfriend who really wanted me to shave my head–this at a time when I had very long hair, halfway down my back–because “if you look good bald, that will prove that you’re really hot.”  That logic seem off to anyone else?

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com

Comments

  1. 1. Tell her your opinion exactly once.

    2. If she goes through with it, then voices doubt or regret over her new style, comfort her. Don’t be the guy who thinks his opinion must be exonerated at any cost.

    3. Google “gamine” and just go with it.

  2. Right on, Beth. It’s OK for John not to like a style, but he can’t control her (and he’s not saying he wants to). If he can’t live with her looking the way SHE wants to then he needs to find someone else.

  3. Long hair on women is evolutionary. Our male ancestors looked for long hair as a sign of good health for breeding strong offspring. Our now advanced brains are still keyed in to this after thousands of years. It’s not our fault that short hair on women is unattractive.

  5. Carey Mulligan with short hair. Just sayin’. My girlfriend went short last summer and I love it. She looks absolutely beautiful with it. It can be done.

  6. I LOVE short hair on women: Emma Watson, Ginnifer Goodwin, Audrey Tautou, etc. A woman with short hair exudes confidence. I would love to be in your situation.

  7. Agreed on all counts, especially #1.

    Personally I think pixie cuts can look really hot on the right woman. That being said, I know my fiancee would not look good with one.

    I also think that women are more tuned to their self image then men are (on average) and if it doesn’t work for her then you won’t have to say anything. Who knows, you may be surprised and end up liking it. I don’t think style is the only thing affecting libido, but you may find that she gets an attitude shift to match the fun/quirky haircut.

    Above all, embrace change (and her) and have fun with it.

  8. Her body is hers…sorry, you don’t really have any say.

    Would you break up with her if she cut her hair really short? Would you no longer find her intellectually stimulating? Physically stimulating?

    Then what does it matter?

    I keep a pompadour, my wife isn’t a huge fan, but it’s my hair.