Reindeer photo credit: lilhelen
His working conditions are brutal, the deadline is ultra stressful, and on top of that his dress code hasn’t changed much in hundreds of years. Huge Red suit, goofy hat, boots, and a big ol’ awkward unstructured bag. That kind of getup isn’t helping his cause at all, yet he has to maintain that traditional appearance in case some kid catches him on the job.
But some tweaks can be made. Some additions too. It’s fair to assume that as time has marched on, Father Christmas has rolled with the punches and improved the quality of his gear where applicable. Here’s what we’re thinking he might be lacing up, pulling on, and throwing over his spare shoulder on Christmas Eve…
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Dasher Dancer Prancer… Danner? Only the best for Jolly ol’ St. Nick at zero hour. He probably got smart years back and ditched his traditional pilgrim buckle boots, and instead opted for these Made in the USA indestructable standards. 200 grams of thinsulate provide warmth, but not overstuffed heat. He will be doing plenty of moving and won’t need that much insulation. Also available in 2E. Perfect for a wide foot like Santa’s.
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For his one night of off-site work, it has to be the G-Shock Rescue. Durable, able to measure chimney to tree to sleigh split times, and can be beat to crap during a global jaunt. Once back at the pole, it’s the subtle and green Swiss Army Maverick II, which was at one time available at Nordstrom for under $200 on sale.
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Ideal for those last second notes the kids leave next to the cookies and milk. A just the right size bag (9″x12″) to stash those letters in on the way back up the chimney.
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A plain unlined pair of leather gloves won’t cut it when you’re handling the cold reigns on eight tiny yet feisty reindeer. (Perhaps nine depending on foggy conditions). Lined with cashmere for softness and warmth, made of sheepskin for durability. Nice snap closure.
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Those cotton waffle knit long johns you used to wear? Those will kill you if you ever get them wet. And St. Nick is likely to hit some weather. Silk wicks, but it’s just not that warm. Stick with synthetic and you’ll stay warm and dry. The Comfortrel poly cloth pulls sweat away from your skin, and keeps you insulated. Made in the USA too.
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That big red coat isn’t as warm as you’d think. And after keeping in better shape this past year, St. Nick has some room to layer underneath. Marked down, way down on Boden’s website.
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One swallow here or there won’t hurt the big fella. Dry Fly is distilled in Spokane, goes incredibly well with a stout or porter, and will warm you up on a freezing winter’s night.
Got a little one who might want to follow a hopefully well equipped St. Nick as he tours the globe? NORAD does a fine job at that every year. Merry Christmas from everyone here at Dappered…
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