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Guys who wear earrings – A woman’s perspective

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Ask A Woman: Pushing 30 and still wearing Earrings…

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it.  Beth is our source for the answers.   From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too.  Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: askawoman@dappered.com
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Beth:

I just turned 30 last month, and I’ve had earrings in both ears since college.  One of my coworkers recently told me she thinks I’d look better without my earrings in.   Is it time to let go?  We work in a pretty normal office.  Nothing too dressed up, but far from t-shirts and jeans, y’know?  My boss has no problems with my earrings.  I’ve asked.

Thanks for your time…

Liam

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Hi Liam,

Happy Belated Birthday and welcome to your thirties!  Here’s how I’m picturing you–a tiny silver or gold hoop in each ear that you’ve rarely taken out since you got them pierced, yes?  I see a lot of guys with this look–usually a bit older than you, maybe 35 or 40–and I always think the earrings have ceased to be intentional.  What I mean by that is everything else you wear is chosen and changed on a daily basis.

Xerxes from 300. A little overkill.

Let’s assume you care about style (otherwise what the heck are you doing here?), in which case you stand in front of your closet in the morning and think about how you feel and what your schedule is like.  Then you choose a pair of stylish yet comfortable loafers because you’ll be at the office but you’ll be running between floors for different meetings.  You pick a pair of perfectly pressed pants, but the ones with a little extra room in the gut because you’ve been feeling self-conscious about gaining some extra holiday pounds and you don’t want to be straining against the waistband all day.

The sweater you decide on is red and has toggle clasps, simply because today feels like a red, toggly day.  You pick socks that match and the right coat, and a watch that picks up the undertones in the sweater.

Guess what’s missing from this series of choices?  You got it–the earrings.  Like most of the double-pierced fellas out there, I’m guessing you don’t change the earrings every morning depending on the rest of your outfit, or what you are in the mood for.   The earrings are always there, so they’ve become like your eyebrows–you probably don’t notice them every time you look in the mirror.

Look, here’s the quick and dirty: a guy with an earring in each ear, especially if it’s a simple hoop, just looks dated to me.  I’d probably expect such a guy to also be wearing carpenter jeans an inch too short, the white athletic socks showing underneath, and carrying a copy of Reality Bites on VHS.  That’s my opinion, which, of course, is what you wrote in for.  But I think the bigger “lesson” here, boys and girls, is that it’s important to make sure that all the elements of your style are intentional, not something you simply default to because you’ve ceased to notice them on a daily basis.

I’m taking next week off in anticipation of Christmas.  Happy Holidays!

Santa, if you’re reading this, I’m still in the market for a multi-strand pearl opera night bracelet… not that I ever go to the opera, but you know, maybe I would if I had the bracelet.

-Beth

Got a question for Beth? Send them to: askawoman@dappered.com

Comments

  1. The earrings. I used to rock the 2 earrings (small studs, cuz guys wearing loops always looked off to me)look for a while. I am 25 and have not worn earrings in about 2 yrs. i stopped wearing them becasue I stepped out of my Urban Fly look and into a grown up with stylish tendancies.
    To be frank, to each his own. I dont do the earrings becasue i dont need the added accessory that says look at me. My brown loafers and well pressed pants with a vneck sweater under my black fitted peacoat are what define me.
    I think some guys (older ones) keep the earrings for the nostalgia of thier youth…younger guys just wear it cuz we think its cool…lol

  2. I have a friend, 29, who still wears earings from back when he was in high school. His parents are well off, so he’s always had real diamond studs. It’s the only thing “left” from our highschool “ghetto” days from when we wore baggy clothes. He still does well with the ladies, so i’ve never really considered asking him when he was going to lose them. Personally, I could never get away with them. I cant imagine a guy wearing hoops, whether big or small. Though, I do have friends that wear “plugs.”

  3. Beth, great column and great idea of being intentional. You’re right, the older the less earrings work. But there are some looks where they do, but those tend to be both unconventional and…. intentional!

  4. I’ve got 1/2″ mahogany plugs in my stretched earlobes. It’s something I always wanted to do when I was in high school, but wasn’t able to until college. As graduation approaches, though, I’m starting to consider whether I still want them or not. It’s a bit of a holdover from my hardcore-listening, band-t-shirt-wearing, emo-hair scene-kid days (which I admittedly still fall into sometimes). They’ll probably come out within the next few years, but for now I’m holding on to them, partly for style’s sake, and partly for nostalgia. Also, I work with high school kids, and having the whole “alt” look really enhances my credibility with them 🙂

  5. Like Liam, recently turned 30 and have been debating getting rid of my earrings. Partly because they don’t make any styles I like any more and partly because I feel like the older people at work don’t take me seriously because I have earrings. They have sort have become a part of me, but I think the biggest thing holding me back from getting rid of them is my fear of change.

  6. Ed Bradley was able to rock the earring with grey hair. I gave up on the earring (and the early ’90s nose ring), but like Beth says, if the right guy does it with the right intention, it can still be cool.

  9. @ Alan: I agree but to an extent. i think we had this conversation beofre on Dappered. I am against the tat if its just for show, I actually have a tat but it means alot to me and the bond that I have with the group of gentlemen that i got it with. Other than that its a no go…