What to drink when avoiding drunkenness
Here’s why you want to avoid getting trashed when you’re out for a huge night on the town:
Because when everyone else is drunk, you’ll be the one in control.
Maintaining a buzz is an art. You start the night going drink for drink with your friends. Then you ease off when everyone else is still going gangbusters. Your buzz starts to slowly dissipate, everyone else is drunk, and you find yourself with every mental advantage possible. Drunks who want to fight are diffused. You engage beautiful women in amazing conversations. And the bartenders pay you special attention because you’re still respectful. You also get home safe and wake up hangover free.
But you’ve got to arm yourself with the tools to do this. Stretching three or four alcoholic drinks over four hours or so can be difficult. Especially on one of the biggest party nights of the year. Consider the following drinks to be your liver’s secret weapon against the impending invasion of ethanol you’ll be trying to fight off.
Tonic Water with a Lime
Start with a Gin and Tonic. Something with top shelf Gin. Brokers, Blue Coat, or Martin Miller’s. Once that drink is gone, ask the bartender to put a few more cubes of ice in your glass, and fill it up with tonic. If you ask for just a tonic water, he won’t give you a rocks glass. And the taller water / soda glasses won’t feel as good in your hand. The bitterness of the Tonic will help you drink it as slow as a G&T, and the Quinine helps to prevent Malaria. If indeed that’s a risk.
Club Soda with a Lime
Sometimes the high fructose corn syrup in the tonic that comes from the bar gun can give you serious gut rot. Switch it up with just plain old club soda in that rocks glass with a lime. If the bartender didn’t squeeze the lime into the glass for you, fish it out and do it yourself. It’ll add some flavor if you’re used to drinking sugary drinks.
Campari and Soda or Americano
Strong in flavor but lower on Alcohol. For a mixed drink. It’s not going to help you ease off a buzz but it’ll certainly slow down the acceleration towards drunkenness. It’s got half the alcohol of a Martini, (or much less if you have your Campari with Soda) and you’ll drink it slow because it’s got an unusual taste. If anyone gives you sh*t about the red drink in your hand, remind them that the Americano was the very first drink James Bond ever ordered.
Water, no Ice.
Less of a drink and what you should be drinking between each drink. The ice just gets in the way and takes up valuable space in the glass. You’re not drinking this for taste. You’re drinking this to stay hydrated. The lack of ice also means it’ll be easier to drink quickly, which is what you’ll want to do. Drink one with each beer or cocktail you get.
Tough to pull off in a crowded club, but if you’re somewhere more relaxed it’s a terrific way to stretch out your night. The hot water makes you drink it slow and the light mint flavor can even compliment a few porters and stouts out there. There’s no shame in sitting at a bar on a cold winter evening with a dark beer, cup of tea, and glass of water. That and you’ll have better breath than the guy who’s been drinking Red Bull and Jager all night.
***Don’t forget to tip. Even on the non-alcoholic options. At least a buck a drink, more if you want great service.
***Dappered.com isn’t liable for any mistakes you make while drunk. Be careful. Be Responsible.