We now flash back to Lincoln Elementary School a few decades ago. It’s future-career day in Mrs. Witteman’s 3rd Grade Class. And now that the Shedevy twins have finished telling the class they want to be enforcers for a low level organized crime syndicate when they grow up (a natural choice for two boys who used to mercilessly beat the other kids on the playground with wooden tennis rackets), it’s now wee Joseph’s turn at the front of the class…
“When I grow up, I want to run something called a website! And I’ll use that website to tell thousands of people that adidas sneakers with a knit upper are on sale! I won’t even personally like the sneakers. And that’s okay. I like other things. Besides, the site won’t be about me! It’ll be for the readership! And THEY like the sneakers, and that’s all that matters. Because I love the readers. I love them. Some of them will even tell me to eat a bowl of fuck! Ha ha they talk to me sometimes. Self-validation through career choice is hard.”
The end.
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