Style Scenario: Santa on Christmas Eve

What are you going to wear? Or in this instance, what is HE going wear? St. Nick has a huge job ahead of him. Lots of miles to cover, lots of soot filled chimneys to get down, lots of cookie crumbs & milk spills to avoid. It’s a dirty job, but that doesn’t mean Santa can’t look sharp while doing it. Here’s what he might wear while putting another 25k-50k miles on the sleigh.

The Sweater: Orvis Lambswool Royal Air Force Aircrew Sweater – $129. St. Nick is a classics kinda fella, and it doesn’t get more classic than this. Great for keeping the arctic blast off his neck. All wool. Just know that it’s almost certainly going to be more of a classic fit. So if you’re looking to pick one up for yourself? And you’re not shaped like Santa? Might be a little generous through the middle. Want something cheaper and possibly slimmer? Try this option from UNIQLO. It’s mostly acrylic with a little wool, but it nails the texture bit.

The Watch: Orient Adventurer World Time Automatic – $299. To keep track of who is sleeping and who is awake, St. Nick needs a watch that can tell him what time it is, in any given time zone, at a glance. The Ventura kids in the Azores try to catch him every friggin’ year, so Santa has to be on top of it. And the Adventurer from Orient helps him keep track of all of the world’s time zones, while also delivering plenty of good looks. In house automatic movement. Power reserve indicator. Review can be found here.

The Belt: Perry Ellis Stretch Belt – $18.99. Yes that’s a stretchy woven belt. Y’know how many cookies he’s got to wolf down that night?

The Coat: Custom Gore-Tex Cashmere-Lined Topcoat w/ Horween Leather Belt. One of a kind. Made by the Mrs. w/ R&D by the Elf Q Branch. Not pictured: Matching hat with interior crash-padding, drop down night vision equipped face shield, and a wireless blue tooth ear piece connected to North Pole flight control & NORAD via the on-sleigh wi-fi hotspot.

The Base Layer: L.L. Bean Made in Canada Cotton/Wool Union Suit – $69.00. Again, Santa’s a classics guy, so although the new-fangled neoprene base layers may wick moisture better, he’s still going with a traditional union suit. At least it does have a layer of wool in there, so that’ll function a bit better than the super old-school all cotton long johns.

The Socks: J. Crew Italian Cashmere Socks – $48.65 w/ HOLIDAY ($69.50). Stupid expensive, but… the man works one hell of a shift on Christmas Eve, so, let him have a little luxury.

The Boots: Allen Edmonds First Avenue w/ V-Tread Sole – $395 ($445). Port Washington isn’t that far from his place, so Santa’s been frequenting Allen Edmonds for years. The new First Avenue boots shot to the top of his own personal “most wanted list” as soon as they debuted a few months back. Great shape, simple cap toe, and a slim, grippy V-tread sole. Perfect for Christmas Eve, with all of those slippery rooftops and what not.

The Air Freshener: Car Freshener Royal Pine – $0.77. You try sitting behind eight tiny reindeer (or nine, depending on the weather) for an entire evening. Whichever asshat of an elf thought it’d be funny to feed Dasher and Dancer veggie chili for dinner on the 23rd is getting reassigned to quality control.

The Nice/Naughty List + Pen: Waterproof Field Notes – $9.95 | Fisher Space Pen – $34.05. Were you expecting an iPad? The master list stays on the scrolls at the pole, but for the big night, a duplicate is transcribed to a pack of weather resistant “Expedition” Field Notes. Meanwhile, the pen works in extreme temperatures and will write from any angle. Even in zero gravity. And that’s perfect for maintaining order on the list when Blitzen gets a wild hair up his tuckus and leads the team on spontaneous inverted aerial maneuvers over the Aegean.

The Gloves: Ralph Lauren Quilted Nappa Leather Gloves in Black – $64.99 ($88). Warm, but also offers the dexterity and durability to handle the reins with authority. Because. Well, Blitzen. Seriously. It’s Xmas, not the X games.

The Goggles: Mark 4 Split Lens Flight Goggles – $88. Sheepskin face cushion. Prescription lenses by the Reykjavik Costco Optical Department. After market heads up display via DARPA.

The Mask: Made in the USA Krampus Mask – $54.93. Krampus has been holding out for a new contract for over a year now (thanks Boras). So for the SECOND Christmas in a row, Santa has to pull double duty. Not only does he have to reward the nice, he’s gotta scare the living daylights out of the naughty. Lochete, prepare to poop your speedo. Numbnuts.

The Pants: Bonobos Made in the USA French Corders – $75.60 w/ GIFTIT ($128). Pricey, even with the extra 30% off code, but the French milled corduroy really is something to behold. No really, hold it. It’s nice and soft, but still durable feeling. A little bit of comfort can go a long way when pulling an all nighter. Code exp. 12/22.