Bellagio Shadows, Too Many Pints, & the Importance of a Good Tailor

PROFILES:

(thank you)

RESPECT! Congrats to Brett at The Art Of Manliness on an impressive personal best. 

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT…I’m guessing a lot of guys know about this. And obviously this is an important health issue. But let’s face it, we are constantly reminded of a 1000 things that can kill us at any given moment. Most guys haven’t had a raise since the recession. Drinking has been a cultural foundation for millennia. This campaign is doomed.

SIGN OF THE TIMES? Honestly, this is not the first time I have seen something like this. But this is a larger stage, as it were?

KICK THEM OUT: There are a lot of stupid people in the world. This week they were concentrated in Yellowstone National Park. This hurts my brain parts. And this just pisses me off. 

EVER GET THE FEELING YOU WERE REPLACEABLE?

(thank you)

SPEAKING OF: I wouldn’t…

SURPRISE. Silent but deadly?

PICTURE PERFECT PRISON?  At first I was like, oh wow, this is so quaint and lovely and charming and winsome and then I was all, oh hell no that must suck to live there with all those tourists and can you even IMAGINE the HOA and shit? So yeah. Nope.

INFECTED BEYOND REPAIR? This is just pathetic. Really. The sport deserves better. Then there’s this.

EXPERIENCE MUSIC PROJECT INSTAGRAM:

(mine)

BABEL FISH! I love it when life finally catches up with some of my favorite books. Seriously, this is pretty cool. Also, these closely resemble many Sci-Fi movie vehicles so I don’t even have a problem with them. Besides, slick interior!

HISTORY’S GREATEST REACH AROUNDS: That one time Churchill did an end run on the Constitution.

AMERICA! HECK YA!* Come for the American Mountain. Stay for the Free American. But whatever you do, avoid the American Fried Rice.

MEANWHILE…In Russia. I want to see the John Carpenter movie of this.

THE IMPORTANCE OF A GOOD TAILOR:

(thank you)

EASY QUEASY? You might want to skip this one. Also, What. The. Hamburgers?

YOYODYNE PROPULSION SYSTEMS…ready to fire in three…two…one. Also, I’m guessing there are about 3 of you who might even care. But all three of you are STOKED.

DAMMIT MOTHER NATURE: You are one effed up piece of work. Damn.

OH NOES! This is not how you prepare to face the world.

TWO THINGS: This is better with the sound off. This is better with the sound cranked.

INCOMING! Warning – red band trailer. nsfw.

And if you can’t watch the trailer on account of work, get yourself spooked out over here.

Tim Johnstone is Dappered’s music correspondent as well as our resident gatherer of all things interwebs related. He doesn’t really hate people. Mostly.

* I know. I screwed up the lyric by censoring it. But c’mon. You might be reading this at work and what if that nosey HR rep was peeping over your shoulder? Also, family friendly and such. Fuck yeah!