Muytjens-ometer Test: The J. Crew Destroyed Sweatshirt

J. Crew Destroyed Sweatshirt – $69.99 (reg. $98)

Confused as to what the Muytjens-ometer is?  Click here to find out.

This is worse than a pre-frayed baseball cap.  And I think we can all agree that pre-frayed baseball caps are pretty bad.  Pretending to have character, when there really is no character there, is called being a poser.  Nobody wants to be a poser.  Here’s the description:
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“A design hero that adds an accidental dose of unkempt cool.  Each one is uniquely distressed, paint-splashed (with at least three different colors) and repaired by hand so you always come off perfectly imperfect.  Intended to look like it has spent years in an artists’ studio.  Cotton.  Crewneck.  Rib trim at neck, cuffs and hem.  Long sleeves. Import.”
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There are four points of absurdity that when originally written should have stopped J. Crew from ever putting this up for sale.  They are, in order of appearance:

1. “With at least three Different Colors“ – Be still my heart.
2. “Repaired by hand“ – So the faux-wear has been pre-repaired?
3. “So you always come off perfectly imperfect“ – Yet you’re completely not.
4. “Intended to look like it has spent years in an artists’ studio” – The art community is rolling their eyes.

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On the Muytjens-ometer:  Five Heads.  Wearing Pre-Frayed Trucker Hats

J. Crew deserves tons of respect for the way they’ve hurdled themselves to the top of the style heap in the last half decade.  But this one is just laughable.  Original price was $100.  And it’s a sweatshirt that’s supposed to make you look like an artist.  Because those who you would be imitating would ever stoop to something like this?

I’d rather wear one of those sliced up blood spattered shark shirts from the 80s and claim I tangled with a great white.

For past items that faced the Muytjens-ometer, click here.
Holy sh*tballs they’ve made one for kids too.  And it’s $60.