Halloween 2010 – The most frightening clothes available now
Happy Halloween (weekend). AKA the one holiday where 90% of women 18 – 40 dress up as a “sexy” something. Doesn’t mater what either. Sexy french maid, sexy nurse… we get those. But sexy clown, sexy Cookie Monster, and sexy box of Crayons, that’s just pushing it. Keep your eye out for periwinkle. I hear she’s nothing but trouble after a few shots of Cuervo.
The guys? It’s more of a toss up. Who knows if you’re even putting on a costume. But odds are you’re heading out at some point to celebrate all the weirdness that is Halloween. Whatever you do, don’t wear one of these awful garments. Because even though you won’t technically be wearing a costume, you’ll look like you are.
Barney Rubble: Gap Toggle Sweater – $79.50
Toggles are rarely a good idea. And when you thrown them on a sweater that doesn’t need any type of closure? It goes from bad style to Bedrock. (Bedrock! Get it?? ehhhhhh.)
The Alternative: The new Gap birdseye sweater – $49.50
Kermit the Frog: Express 1mx in “Charter” Green – $49.50
Sure things can get a little drab sometimes. And green is a good color that goes far underused. But unless you have an actual lily pad for a pad, leave the bright stuff to Kermit.
The Alternative: Same shirt, just stick with gray, black, light blue, and white.
The Michelin Man: Burberry Packaway Expedition Jacket – $795.00
I don’t know what’s more silly. The look or the price.
The Alternative: This slim quilted jacket from Banana Republic – $130.00
An Acid Trip: Chor for Macy’s Plaid Tie Dye Shirt – $22.99
Yes, but can you FEEL THE COLORS. Best part about that horrific shirt is the description: “a subtle tie dye puts a fresh twist on a classic.” Subtle tie dye?
The Alternative: Lands’ End Canvas Flannel Workshirt in Spruce Check – $39.50
Freddy Krueger: L.L. Bean Signature Cotton Cashmere Striped Crew – $65.00
It’s a nice sweater. A little expensive, but still… nice. Just don’t wear a chocolate brown fedora with it.
The alternative: Go with this more maroon v-neck from Old Navy – $39.50
Icarus: INC Short Sleeved embroidered buck – $19.99
Post Gender Reassignment Surgery Rainbow Bright: Topman Funnel Neck Check – $64.00
That is not an attractive shirt. Lotta bad ideas happening there, all at once. And it’s $64.00
The Alternative If you want bright, stick with only two colors. Like this shirt from J. Crew – $64.50
If you’ve seen any other downright frightening clothes lately, feel free to leave them in the comments section below.