And for the record, I don’t know why the NFL gets their jocks in a twist over using the actual name of what has become the biggest sporting event on the planet this side of the World Cup.  Yes it’s their game, and yes they can do what they want with the name.  But talk about an Elephant in the Room.  Here’s a few ways to guarantee that the party you’re hosting, or going to this Sunday lives up to its fullest potential. Above photo – Steve Carlton
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1. Invite Women – Attend parties only where they’re invited.

Christina Hendricks, Esquire - May 2010

This is no different than a poker game.  If you’re invited to a game day get together and there’s a specific ban on females from attending?  Don’t go.  It’ll be lame.  This ain’t Bart Simpson’s tree-house.
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2. Don’t order food the day of.  Have everyone bring something.

Do NOT depend on delivery this Sunday.

Delivery can already be sketchy.  But this Sunday?  Forget it.  Wait times will be enormous, staff will be overworked, and you’re risking making your guests go hungry.  If you’re hosting, ask everyone to bring something small.  You provide either something substantial (like pork tenderloin which always works well) or forget a main dish and just make a couple sides.  If there’s ever a meal to graze for 4 hours, this is it.
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3. Dress Down.  But not out – Rugby Shawl Collar – $52.49 ($128) or LEC – $28.99 ($49.50)

It's the SB. Leave the tie at home.

Feel free to fly your Pittsburgh or Green Bay colors if you got em’.  Bonus points if you’re a die-hard of another team and still want to wear that jersey on Sunday (once watched a Packers/Vikings game with a crazed Bears fan.  Not only did he show up in a Cade McKnown jersey, he brought his own Bears helmet snack bowl.)  For us non apparel owners, a pair of jeans, classic sneaks, and a cotton jersey shawl collar cardigan like either of these will be fine.
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4. Upgrade your House Beer – Newcastle 5L Draught Keg – SRP: $22.99

Surprisingly smoother out of the keg.

Many will be bringing a sixer of their favorite beer anyway, but if you’re hosting, it’s good to have a good quantity of beer on hand for backup.  Don’t resort to buying the light lager/pislner swill you were slogging in college.  Consider a home draft of an upgrade.  The guys at Newcastle got in touch with us to let us know they’ve been putting their beer in one of those things draught keg thingers for a bit now.  (Full disclosure, they sent us one to give it a look/taste/run)  At 150 calories per 12oz, it won’t bloat you by the second quarter, and at 4.7 ABV it’s not a watery lightweight, nor is it some monster Barley Wine.  Drinkable.  For the whole show.  Smoother & cheaper than bottles.
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5. Have a football on hand for Halftime – Wilson NFL Game Size Composite Ball – $21.89

Composite for the street.

The Black Eyed Peas are this year’s halftime show.  Um.  Well.  Remember the game 500?  At this point, kill the excruciatingly long half time by having all the guys who’ve had a few beverages head out into the street/field nearby.  Everyone puts $5 in.  Winner takes the pot.  And don’t come crying to me if one of you tears an ACL.
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6. BONUS: Know the prop bets! – No more than $10.00

Braaaaaaaaaaaayayayaaaaaauhuyaaaave.

Yep.  The Prop Bets.  Forget the spread or the over under.  How long will Christina Aguilera hold the note on “Brave” at the end of the National Anthem?  The line is 6 seconds.  Pick a few bets, place no more than a dollar or two down on the weird ones with a few of your friends, and it’ll add some not too expensive excitement to the game.  Here’s some of the better prop bets, from here -

• How long will it take Christina Aguilera to sing the National Anthem?
  Over/Under 1 minute 50 seconds
• How long will Christina Aguilera hold the note “Brave” at the end of the National Anthem?
  Over/Under 6 seconds
• How Many Times will FOX mention “Brett Favre” on TV during the Game?
  Over/Under   2.5
• Will a Steelers player do the Aaron Rodgers Championship Belt Celebration during the game?
  Yes EVEN
  No -140

Most American men love three things.  Women, Beer, and Football.  Most likely in that order.  It’s the biggest game of the year this Sunday, and it’s also one of the biggest reasons to throw a party here in the states.
The football will take care of itself.  You should make sure you’ve got the best beer, and your favorite women in attendance.  Here’s four suggestions for each.  And good luck with the women part.

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1. Deschutes Inversion IPA & Jenna Fischer

All American, has a reddish/amber hue, full of snappy comeback.  And not always in the spotlight.

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2. Hacker Pschorr Weiss & Heidi Klum

Absurdly German.  Beautiful.  Been around for a bit (She’s 36, Beer is 593) You’ll never forget your first encounter.

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3. Samuel Smith Nut Brown & Kate Beckinsale

Brunettes.  British.  Well respected (Esquire’s sexiest woman alive 2010)

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4. PBR 160z Cans & Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks

No nonsense.  Huge, um, cans.  Never a bad thing.

(And if you’re wondering, up top… that is Jenna, Heidi, Kate, and Christina Moving from L – R)

(UPDATE:  WRONG… Congrats to Brees, the Saints, and the City of New Orleans.  They played with heart, plenty of guts, and Coach Payton made a heck of a call with the on-sides kick.  That said, I hope Brees cuts his hair.)

Never bet on a guy with a comb over.  It’s an obvious crack in the foundation of his psyche.  A comb over shows that the man underneath it would rather live in a world of denial than  embrace what everyone else so easily sees.

And that which everyone else so easily sees is this:

Drew Brees is losing his hair.

And so what?  Who cares about his hair?  Drew’s a good looking guy, a terrific leader, and someone who in the last few years has dealt with a host of pretty strange family issues, and he’s come out on the other side for the better.

But someone does care.  How else do you explain the long hair and  the hide it all hat in the press conference?  The guy can stand in the pocket and deliver a precise pass to a receiver 25 yards down the field but he doesn’t want the world to see the top of his scalp:

Drew Brees discusses the Saints before the 2009-10 season. Click for the full video

Troy Aikman said something during the NFC Championship game that we all should remember.  Towards the end of the game and into overtime, Drew Brees wasn’t throwing spirals.  Maybe it was a hand injury, but maybe it was also hesitation.  His confidence shuddered just enough that the ball started to wobble.

Brees has more poise and confidence than 99.9% of us.  That’s obvious.  But the comb over raises not just a red flag about what’s going on inside his head.  A comb over also says something about the people he’s surrounded by.

It says that even though he’s doing something to slightly embarrass himself and more importantly limit his growth as a person, the people around him just can’t find a way to say: “Dude… we know you’re losing your hair.  Keep it short or buzz it off already, you’ll look ten times better.”

I like Brees.  I like the Saints.  I have nothing against the man or the organization whose team he leads on the field.  And perhaps this is reading too much into one man’s choice of head wear for a post-game press conference.  But, ask yourself this:  Would Peyton Manning ever wear a hat to conceal a receding hair line?

Probably not.

That’s why you should pick the Colts to win the Superbowl.

Because that ball won’t wobble for Peyton.  Big ol’ Forehead or not.