Players, coaches, and even part of the half time act have been cast in a sartorial light.  Will this help you figure out just who’s going to win this thing?  Maybe.  Okay, probably not.  But at least this way, if you don’t have a dog in this fight, you can root for your favorite shirt.  Or against a horrid accessory.  Let’s kick it off with the Golden Boy…
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Tom Brady:  Double Monk Straps – Antonio Maurizi Vincenzo Double Monk – $299.95

But does he own a pair?

Came out of seemingly nowhere a few years back and has been dominating ever since.  Maybe beginning to wind down.  Hugely popular yet absolutely hated by some.  Expensive.  Difficult to find affordable versions of.  (The cheaper version, of course, is the DSW house brand Mercantile Fiorentini.  Photo Credit: Keith Allison

Eli Manning: Levi’s Original 501 – $52.99

Not as complicated, but that's a strength.

The more expensive relative might get all the attention, but the quieter, cheaper option is a true foundation that quietly does what needs to be done and often excels at it.  Tougher than most.    Photo Credit: AJ Guel

The Giants “NASCAR” Front 4:  Navy Suit, Grey Suit, Charcoal Suit, Plaid/Check Suit

Osi, Tuck, JPP, & Mathias

Straight up mean looking.  Can dominate when execution is perfect.  Hard to ignore.  Suits from left:  Indochino Essential Navy, Banana Republic Tailored Fit, J.Crew Factory Thompson, Suit Supply Napoli 1/2.

The Patriots Defense: Tighty Whiteys – Fruit of the Loom 3 Pack – $8.06

Good enough to get this far.

Just kinda there.  Doesn’t cover much.  Also doesn’t get credit for getting the job done.  Photo Credit: deege

Ahmad Bradshaw & Brandon Jacobs: Tie Bar – $15.00 & Pocket Square – $30.00

Smaller, and much bigger.

Can make a huge impact.  Can also be a massive let down.  (Tie bar is from thetiebar.com  Pocket Square is from FifthandBrannan.com)  Photo Credit tedkerwin & Alexa

BenJarvus Green-Ellis:  Driving Gloves – All Gloves Brown Drivers – $84.00

No butterfingers here.

Exotic sounding.  Ridiculous grip.  No.  Seriously.  Holds on and won’t let go.  Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beal

Wes Welker: White Oxford Cloth Button Down – Lands’ End Canvas – $50.00

Ol' reliable

A favorite weapon.  Excels on the interior with other options surrounding.  Not real flashy.  Can take a solid beating.  White.  (The L.E.C. one is full price.  This or this option from Brooks Brothers are both a little funky, but cheaper and could be layered.)  Photo Credit: Brian J. McDermott

 

Victor Cruz:  Linen Suit – J. Crew Irish Linen Ludlow – $426.00

Impressive moves. Impressive suit.

At first, not high on the priority list for many.  But as soon as you experience it, you’re awfully glad to have it in your arsenal.  Excels when it comes to salsa dancing.  (Want a MUCH cheaper all cotton summer suit?  The L.L. Bean Signature New Traditional Twill is down to $125 total.  Review here.  Credit Alex K. for the tip.)  Victor Cruz Photo Credit

 

Rob Gronkowski:  Saddleback Leather Briefcase – $411.00

Gronk doesn't come with a 100yr warranty.

Not the most subtle thing in the world.  Can take a beating.  Viewed as unstoppable.  Can play a major role but can be replaced by something sleeker to mix it up.  Photo Credit: jdn

 

Vince Wilfork:  Saddleback Leather Duffel Bag – $744.00

Bit of a load.

Yup.  Photo Credit: Keith Allison

 

Chad Ochocinco: The Trucker Hat

15 catches this year. Total.

Loud.  Was everywhere.  Has since completely fallen off the face of the earth.  Photo Credit: Jeffrey Beal

 

Madonna:  Shutter Shades – $7.02

Halftime show = Bathroom break.

80s icon that… why the hell are we revisiting the 80s again?  Photo Credit: iShot71

 

Tom Coughlin:  A vintage pocket watch that runs five minutes fast

On time means you're late buster.

Old school.  A younger contemporary would struggle to seem natural.  Sometimes appears a little out of touch with the nuances of today, and continues to risk being thrown to the trash heap, but continues to survive and excel.

 

Bill Belichick:  A hooded sweatshirt – Gildan Heavy Blend Hoodie – $12.70

Ready for battle.

What.  Were you expecting a Tom Ford dinner jacket?  Belichick Photo Credit

Agreements, disagreements, additions, and predictions can all go in the comments below.  Top Photo Credit: hyku

Shannon Sharpe has quietly become one of the best dressed men on sports television.  Sometimes.  Unlike his competition (looking at you slim solid tie all the time Jesse Palmer) Sharpe takes risks.  Sometimes the risks work and sometimes they don’t.  The styleometer below is how we’ll track and analyze the CBS analyst’s look.  Ten is a a big win, zero is awful, and five is a forgettable “mneh.”  50% of the final grade will be the average score of your votes.

The Showdown

More than a few of you have pointed out in the comments or on twitter that along with Shannon Sharpe, Michael Strahan is doing more than his fair share when it comes to upping the overall style quotient on NFL pregame shows.  Along with keeping track of Shannon, this week we’ll put the hall of famer up against the single season sack record holder (Favre, you stink.)  Rank Shannon and then pick who wins the head to head matchup below…

The Good

• The Suit Material: Maybe you had to see it in HD, but man did the fabric of this suit look incredible.  Ralph Lauren, Tom Ford, or Zegna?  Who knows.  But it’s something.
  
• The Suit Pattern: Pinstripes without looking like one of Capone’s hit-men.  Well played.
• The Tie Width: That’s downright skinny for Shannon.  Slim and well balanced with the collar.
• The Tie Knot: Have we seen the last of grapefruit sized knots on Sharpe?
• The Tie Pattern: Despite the shine causing a glare on the camera more often than not, the Burberry check was big enough to work awfully well with the thin uniform pin stripe.  Still bold and fun, which is Sharpe.
• The Cool Color Palate: Shannon goes back once again to a medium blue shirt, but along with the color of the suit and colors in the tie, it produced a real clean not too stuffy look.
• The Fit of the Suit: This might have more to do with his commitment to fitness, but he is always wearing his suit.  His suit is never wearing him.

The Bad

• The Lapels: They’re enormous.  Wings of an albatross big.  And up against that slimmer tie, they just blurt out all over the screen even more.  What’d they use as a template for those things, a bat’leth?

The Final Grades

From Dappered: 6.0 The lapels just kill it (for me.)  Aside from the lapels the suit looked terrific on camera.  The rest of it looked pretty good too, but it’s Shannon’s lapels that could give Strahan the win in the head to head.

And about Strahan… Although also in peaks, Strahan’s lapels are under control.  His lighter grey suit, white striped shirt, and blue striped tie combo is a safe play, but still a terrific one.  It’s the shape of his suit that might be an issue.  When compared to Sharpe’s, Strahan’s suit looks more like a boxy Marino style cut with lower armholes and a higher button stance.  It’ll be interesting to see how you guys vote in the head to head match up.

From the Dappered Readers: 7.0 You guys weren’t as harsh on the lapels, and the fit of his suit continues to win fans.
The Final Grade: 6.5 Not bad.  Not amazing.  Word from twitter is that he’s already thinking about what suit he’ll be wearing this upcoming weekend.  In the head to head, Shannon was the clear winner over Strahan.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
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Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Click here for previous weeks of the Shannon Sharpe Styleometer.

Shannon Sharpe has quietly become one of the best dressed men on sports television.  Sometimes.  Unlike his competition (looking at you slim solid tie all the time Jesse Palmer) Sharpe takes risks.  Sometimes the risks work and sometimes they don’t.  The styleometer below is how we’ll track and analyze the CBS analyst’s look.   Ten is a a big win, zero is awful, and five is a forgettable “mneh.”  50% of the final grade will be the average score of your votes.

The Good

• The Color of the Suit:  Seems like Dan, Boomer, and Bill Cowher are always stuck in dark if not black suits.  Aside from their poofy pocket squares, they look downright congressional.  Sharpe’s lighter grey is nails.
• The Button Stance:  A two button (not three, not FOUR) that’s a touch lower than most?  Nice.
• The Simple Tie and Tie Knot:  A four in hand would be dwarfed by the spread collar and his shoulders.  It looks to be a full Windsor, but it’s not outrageously big.  It’s well proportioned (and smaller than Cowher’s)
• The Slim Watch and Cufflinks:  Unobtrusive and subtle.  This is as minimalist as it gets on Sports TV
• The Tie Bar & Crisp Pocket Square:  Sharpe’s pulling out all the big guns this week.

The Bad

• The Peak Lapels:  What is it with former players who stay in shape that wear peaks?  Peak lapels make you appear wider up top.  Shannon doesn’t need the extra help.  Hat tip to him for staying in shape though.
• The Collar Points:  This is picky, but those points look like they’re starting to struggle.  But these guys have been in the studio for probably 12 hours at this point.
• The Tie bar & Crisp Pocket Square:  It’s both a strength & weakness.  Between the American flag pin, lapel ribbon (which you’d certainly wear on a 9/11 broadcast,) the lavaliere mic, and tie bar / pocket square, there’s a lot going on there.  Starting to look a little like ornaments on a Christmas tree.

The Final Grades

From Dappered:  8.5  Solid.  Shannon starts the season off real strong.
From the Dappered Readers:  7.3  Lots of 7s and 8s from you guys in the audience.
The Final Grade: 7.9  Not a bad start.  The question is, what does he have to do to get a 9?

1. Banana Republic San Marcos Wingtip – $78.75 w/code BRSUMMER25

Also available in brown

Not quite under $75, but they ship free and return to stores free, so… we’ll fudge it.  Not worth it at $140.  Still a little too much at over $100.  But with their 25% off purchases over $100 code BRSUMMER25, these now reduced to $105 shoes come down to a very fair eighty bucks.  Why is it fair?  Don’t expect much from the quality.  But, as a rotate em’ in every now and again pair, they look pretty good.

 

2. NFL Preseason live Subscription – $19.99

No cable, no problem.

Some will love this, some will hate it.  For those of us that ditched cable or satellite long ago, but still love sports, it’s getting harder and harder to find a game that you can kick back and watch.  The NFL is offering live streaming of every single preseason game for $19.99.  Some love preseason because all of these guys are out there fighting to make the team.  Some just don’t care for it.  But being able to watch any team, or any player (Tebow drama anyone?) for twenty bucks?  Awesome.

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3.  Bruno Magli Wallet – $42.00 (reg. $69.00)

Not quite a pair of shoes... but still.

Because it’s trim, has vertical card slots, and it’s as close as many of us will ever get to owning a pair of Bruno Magli shoes.  Take your socks off.  Drape it over your feet.  Okay, now that’s as close as many of us will ever get.

 

4. Ralph Lauren Custom-Fit Gingham Oxford – $43.99 (reg. $95.00)

Available in blue too, but you can wear pink.

Holy hell get a load of the regular price.  Almost $100.  Part of Ralph Lauren’s “Last Chance” Sale.  It’s the much slimmer “custom fit” which is absolutely key.  You’ve got plenty of time to wear this well into the fall.  Think black moleskin blazer on top, maybe a knit or wool tie of some kind, dark wash jeans, and some interesting lace ups.  Update:  Sizes are getting real limited, real fast with these.

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5. Timex Weekender Slip-Thru – $32.00 w/code SUMMER11

Three cheers for Timex.

The good-looks to cost ratio is re-damn-donkulous.  Seems like a few Targets out there have them as well.  Free shipping kicks in at $75, pre code, so you can get two of these, shipped free, for $64.00.  Update:  Amazon just got these in for a few cents less, and free super saver shipping even if you order just one watch.  So far the black, grey, and Burgundy stripe among others appear to be available.  Credit Ryan N. in the comments.

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6. A fine merino wool v-neck: Bloomingdale’s – $29.50 ($78) | Express – $69.50

Merino = tough to beat

It’ll be the first sweater you reach for when September shows up.  Fine knit merino is lightweight, durable, and easy to layer over and under anything.  Two points about the Express sweater:  1. wait for a sale, and 2. wear a shirt under it.

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7. The President is a Sick Man – $14.85

Or, the story of Grover's mouth tumor.

Summer reading that won’t leave you brain dead.  Comes with one of the best sub-headlines ever: “Wherein the Supposedly Virtuous Grover Cleveland Survives a Secret Surgery at Sea and Vilifies the Courageous Newspaperman Who Dared Expose the Truth.“  President gets a huge cancerous growth on the roof of his mouth.  Country is in the throws of a financial crisis.  Letting the world know could cause a financial panic.  So they end up digging the tumor out on a boat, then lie through their teeth when a reporter dares to tell the story.
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8.  Ron Zacapa 23 Dark Rum – $34.99 – $55.00

The affordable-ish 23 is on the left.

If you’re into sipping rums, this is one of the top, relatively affordable and attainable bottles out there.  A slight step above Zaya (but that’s just one opinion).  This isn’t the kind of rum you dump coke on top of.  On a couple big ice cubes now, neat when fall finally arrives.  Mapely, spicy, lots of caramel.  Less vanilla than Zaya, but it’s still there.

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9. INC Launch Plain Toe Chukka – $89.50 (but can easily be had for $67.13)

Also available in brown

Best bet?  Maybe not.  Slight risk with the highest potential?  Absolutely.  Haven’t seen these in person quite yet, but INC continues to move away from their over-embellished bad habits to embrace smoother and plain styles.  Wait for a sale on these.  $67.13 is 25% off.  We’re due for a One Day Sale anyway.

 

10. ratio/clothing Blue Windowpane dress shirt – $73.50 w/code DAPPERED

If you've got em', worth all 7500 cents.

Instantly became my own personal favorite shirt.  Fits better than any other shirt I’ve ever owned, the fabric is something else, and the pattern is nothing short of perfect.  Made in the USA.  Kinda like it.  Just a bit.  Yes, by chance it has been featured a lot.  (No, they’re not paying us to do so.)  If you don’t like it, go to Russia.
For other best bets under $75 from previous months, click here.

Many thanks to our friends at The Next Bar Stool for passing the video along

It had become self aware.  It had its own facebook page (with 30,000 “likes” mind you).  It was the most famous facial hair in sports, and every football fan knew it.  And last Thursday night it met its demise.

Pittsburgh Steeler’s Defensive End Brett Keisel had his beard sheared for charity last week.  And even on the turbo setting, there’s no way something like this was used to do the job.  (But maybe this?)  Along with selling tickets to the event, money was raised for the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh by actually selling off PIECES OF THE BEARD.  Going rate for a piece of the beard plus an autographed photo was about $400.  The transformation was nothing short of stunning:

…………….

About $30K was raised for the Division of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh.  So of course it was a good idea to cut it off.  But the question remains, does he look better with… or without the beard?
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I know this is going completely against conventional “style wisdom” (if there is such a thing.)  But I thought the beard looked incredible.  Sure he looks good now with the short all over look.  But at the very least, maybe make a trip down the Sam Elliot Moustache scenic byway during the transition back to stubble.  Leave your vote below.

If you’d like to personally recognize the awesomeness that was Brett Keisel’s beard, head on over this way to make a donation.  They start at just $25 in honor of “The Beard”

Yes ESPN’s Jesse Palmer is the current crowned king of style on sports Television.  The former star of The Bachelor (and backup QB) is well known for his ability to wear an extremely well tailored suit, simple tie, and plain white pocket square while delivering commentary.

Sha-NON!

But what about Shannon Sharpe?

You’ve got to hand it to the almost Hall of Famer.  Because unlike Jesse, the man takes risks.  Huge ones.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but when it does work?  It… is… something.  Like his getup from yesterday:

• A bold… BOLD patterned jacket,
• Red gingham shirt,
• and a plain black knit tie.

It’s a lot of pattern and texture, but it all plays well on him.  He walked right up to the line and refused to step over it.  Now, Shannon used to be one of the biggest offenders in the “how big can I get my tie knot” club, but he’s got the diameter of his double Windsors back down to a substantially more balanced level.  The only tweak I’d make is to maybe get him to go with a notch lapel.

Along with Jesse Palmer, it seems like Shannon is hooked on peaks.  Which is fine, but when you’re like Shannon (who has obviously worked his tail off to maintain his playing days physique) a peak lapel will only make your already massive upper torso look gargantuan.  Could be a little much.

I could never pull it off.  Most of us could never pull it off.  And sometimes his risks end up crashing and burning.  (Purple velvet anyone?)  But when he gets it right, he nails it.  Well done Mr. Sharpe.  This week.

Your thoughts?

(UPDATE:  WRONG… Congrats to Brees, the Saints, and the City of New Orleans.  They played with heart, plenty of guts, and Coach Payton made a heck of a call with the on-sides kick.  That said, I hope Brees cuts his hair.)

Never bet on a guy with a comb over.  It’s an obvious crack in the foundation of his psyche.  A comb over shows that the man underneath it would rather live in a world of denial than  embrace what everyone else so easily sees.

And that which everyone else so easily sees is this:

Drew Brees is losing his hair.

And so what?  Who cares about his hair?  Drew’s a good looking guy, a terrific leader, and someone who in the last few years has dealt with a host of pretty strange family issues, and he’s come out on the other side for the better.

But someone does care.  How else do you explain the long hair and  the hide it all hat in the press conference?  The guy can stand in the pocket and deliver a precise pass to a receiver 25 yards down the field but he doesn’t want the world to see the top of his scalp:

Drew Brees discusses the Saints before the 2009-10 season. Click for the full video

Troy Aikman said something during the NFC Championship game that we all should remember.  Towards the end of the game and into overtime, Drew Brees wasn’t throwing spirals.  Maybe it was a hand injury, but maybe it was also hesitation.  His confidence shuddered just enough that the ball started to wobble.

Brees has more poise and confidence than 99.9% of us.  That’s obvious.  But the comb over raises not just a red flag about what’s going on inside his head.  A comb over also says something about the people he’s surrounded by.

It says that even though he’s doing something to slightly embarrass himself and more importantly limit his growth as a person, the people around him just can’t find a way to say: “Dude… we know you’re losing your hair.  Keep it short or buzz it off already, you’ll look ten times better.”

I like Brees.  I like the Saints.  I have nothing against the man or the organization whose team he leads on the field.  And perhaps this is reading too much into one man’s choice of head wear for a post-game press conference.  But, ask yourself this:  Would Peyton Manning ever wear a hat to conceal a receding hair line?

Probably not.

That’s why you should pick the Colts to win the Superbowl.

Because that ball won’t wobble for Peyton.  Big ol’ Forehead or not.

Wildcard weekend saw the dismissal of two of the ugliest sets of uniforms in the NFL.  Cincinnati and New England.  Is there a huge correlation between how a team looks when they take the field, and how they play once the game begins?  No.  But to say there’s no evidence that looking bad has an effect on how well (or poorly) a team plays would also be inaccurate.

(See the 1976 -77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Bill Belichick’s recent choice of head wear.)

Here’s how the remaining teams in the NFL Playoffs rank in the uniform style department.

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#8  The Minnesota Vikings

The Metrodome in Minneapolis has just one thing going for it.  It’s not the ugliest thing associated with the Vikings.  That “honor” goes to the uniforms.  Their jerseys got an update a few seasons ago and they ended up coming out looking more awkward than ever.  Gone was the ugly but, y’know… classic… purple people eaters look.  And in came a lighter purple, big blocky white stripes and more yellow accents.  They look like a Tennessee Titans uniform that’s been starved of oxygen and is slipping into unconsciousness.  And the helmets STILL don’t quite match the jerseys.  Purple got Julius Caesar Killed.  Let’s hope the Vikings and their uniforms are also put out of their misery this weekend.

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#7  The San Diego Chargers

Another Victim of the “Let’s Add more White” club.  A minor revamp of their uniforms a few seasons back started well enough with the powder blue throwbacks from the 70s.  And somehow, they combined that look with the Late 90s Stan Humphries Specials… to get a uniform that always has a white helmet.  It looks like The Flash painted his Easter Egg and slapped it on top of Antonio Gates.  The Lightning Bolts have never made sense as stripes on the shoulders.  Maybe they’ll stick with the powder blues during the playoffs.

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#6  The Arizona Cardinals

Who let a Roller Derby team on the field?  White pants, red shoulders, all the time.  The Cardinal head on the helmet itself got a much needed update a few seasons back but the rest of the uniform got too futuristic looking.

The Cards could have always benefited from a stripe down the middle of their helmets, but just like the Chargers, they now have the egg-head look.

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#5  The Baltimore Ravens

It took them a few years (what do you expect when your team’s colors are Black, Purple, and Gold?) but the Ravens have it about as good as they’ve ever had it.

Yes the Raven on the helmet is too cartoonish.  But the color scheme is dead on.  Their road and alternate uniforms trump their home purple shirts, but overall the Ravens as a team, and their Uniforms, reflect a gritty east coast city.

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#4  Indianapolis Colts

The All-Whites the Colts wear while away look much better than their home blues but it’s still the closest thing the NFL gets to one of the greatest Uniforms of all time.  Joe Paterno’s Penn State Nittany Lions.

Minimalist?  Yes.  Classic?  Absolutely.  Why screw with it?  The stripes are perfect, the horseshoe on the helmet is well balanced with the simple blue stripe…  No nonesense all business.  Yes the blue is a little too true blue, but it’s always been that way.  No reason to change.

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#3  The Dallas Cowboys

They’d be even higher if they’d fully embrace the early 60′s inspired White and Navy alternates they wear every so often.  But the silver helmets and pants of “America’s Team” (which they aren’t by the way) are as classic as it gets.

Jerry Jones has tweaked the jerseys throughout the years but never strayed from what they’ve always really worn.  Maybe it’s time to re-introduce the fans to those White and Navy getups and lose the silver for a few years.

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#2  The New Orleans Saints

Gold doesn’t get really too high on any kind of style lists because it can remind everyone of a used-car-salesman.  But New Orleans is New Orleans.  Deep South, coastal, proud heritage, carnival… All of that excess that can flow in the French Quarter means that gold is a great choice.  And the triple outlined Fleur-de-lis on the helmet just looks sharp.

They’re also one of the only teams in the NFL that can pull off the matching jersey/pants look when they go black jerseys, black pants, with the gold helmets.

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#1  The New York Jets

Hands down the best jersey in the NFL.  Hunter Green looks great on two things:  British Sports Cars and the Jerseys of the New York Jets.  Cardinals and Chargers take note.  This is how you do a white helmet.  Double Stripe down the middle, classic/retro oval logo on the side.  Just two colors.. 

Make use of silhouettes.  The White numbers pop against the green jerseys and vice versa.  Joe Namath and Kevin Arnold must both smile every time the Jets take the field.

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Dear Bill:

It’s over.  Your stranglehold on the AFC and the NFL is done.  Sure it’s been fading for a good while, but the mud-hole that the Raven’s stomped in your behind on Sunday only secured your fate.  And I’m sorry to say, your hat was not just a sign of your impending demise, but a partial cause.

Only a grown man who has such an overblown ego that he thinks he sh*ts ice cream would wear a hat like that.  And what makes it even worse?  It wasn’t even that cold outside.  Twenty Degrees?  Twenty Degrees and you feel it necessary to wear a hat that only Ralphie’s little brother from A Christmas Story  would wear?  Football is a violent contact sport.  How are the athletes whom you coach supposed to follow your leadership when you look like you aren’t fit to sit at the front of the toboggan?

You suck.  Your opinion of yourself is out of control.  You deserve all the failure that’s coming your way until you get your act together.  You could have worn this hat, or this one… or hell, one of those tall numbers that the Grenadier Guards in England wear.  At least that would have been funny.

The Pom Pom makes you look like a pathetic 1st grader who couldn’t wait to get the game over with so he could run inside and have his Swiss Miss.  We haven’t seen such inappropriate attire for the situation since Matt Lauer turned Afghanistan into a Burberry runway.

Your Quarterback can sometimes dress a little too snooty.  Yet you dress like a homeless man with mental issues.  We’d tell you it’d be best to find a middle ground, but… that would mean we’d like to see you win.  And we don’t.

Have a nice off season!

Signed,

Dappered

P.S. Winter hats with Pom Poms aren’t the only clothes women hate.
Here’s our list of the other things you might be wearing that are killing your chances with members of the fairer sex.