How to give flowers to an Ex.

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“Break a leg!” without the hubby breaking your face.

You're hovering a bit there bucko.

If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday.  She also might provide an answer without waiting to be asked.  That happens from time to time too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: .



One of my best (female) friends is playing the lead in a stage production. She also happens to be an ex-girlfriend, and is newly married. I’m going to a non-opening night show with some of her family and family friends; her husband will probably be there too. What sort of flowers are appropriate, and what would be the best way of giving or getting them to her?

– Kyle


Hi Kyle,

What a nice gesture. Flowers are such a lovely gift. Every time I receive them I’m surprised, delighted, and moved (dudes, take note, this is an easy, easy, easy way to win some brownie points with your partner). Way to be, Kyle.

The only flowers I’d tell you to absolutely stay away from are roses. Roses of any color tend to be interpreted as a sign of love and romance, and you don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. Other than that, the options are open. I think a bouquet with Gerbera daisies, sunflowers, or daffodils would be beautiful and appropriate. These also strike me as “laid-back” flowers, flowers that speak to friendship, though certainly you don’t have to limit yourself to these. Although many grocery stores now have high quality bouquets, you could seek the advice of a professional florist for this particular occasion. Tell him/her the circumstance, and they can help you put together a bouquet that screams, “WE’RE JUST FRIENDS! PROMISE!” Keep the bouquet on the small size. If her husband has the same idea, you don’t want your bouquet to outshine his. (Why do the most innocent phrases take a turn for the dirty in this column?)

Took four years, but Neil Diamond finally makes an appearance on Dappered.

As far as giving them to her, just do it after the show. Presumably she’ll come out and greet everyone who came to support her. Give her a hug, tell her she did a great job, and hand her the flowers. If you’re concerned about how it will look, or if you know that her husband feels a bit uncomfortable with your friendship,ask some of her friends ahead of time who will be there if they’d like to go in on it with you. Everyone can pitch in and sign the little card and that way it’s a group effort.

Navigating a friendship after a romantic interlude can be tricky when one or both parties have met someone else but the best way to do it is to keep it all out in the open. To be honest, I doubt anyone will question your intentions. Your friendship isnt a secret. Giving flowers to a performer after a show is traditional. And she’s newly married. Don’t worry about it too much. Enjoy the show and break a leg.

– Beth

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