Ask A Woman: Tighty to the Whitey
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As any young man would tell you, my mom used to buy me tighty whities as I was growing up. And what I mean is I really wore white briefs growing up. When I moved out I decided to upgrade it and started buying low cut briefs in different colors and patterns. Growing up I remember trying out boxers ONCE as well as boxer briefs but they were not too comfortable. I tried the whole boxer thing again recently and felt the same way I did then (they bunch up and while walking the “junk” gets to do the salsa, which is uncomfortable) and boxer briefs just ride up. What are my options here? I thought my colored and more adult looking briefs were ok until my GF pointed out that these are still considered tighty whities and are very unsexy.
This afternoon I was having coffee with my friend John. I mentioned that the column I’m writing this week is on underwear, specifically a dude who likes tighty whiteys. He got a nostalgic look in his eye, gazed off into the distance and said, “Ah yes, that used to be me.” Then he told me about his ill-fated history with boxers, and some other extremely relevant skivvy-related information. Naturally, I thanked him for sharing, as this will surely enrich our friendship now and in the years to come. There isn’t much of a point to this anecdote besides using the opportunity to mock a friend, and perhaps to assure readers that even the men in my life with whom I have a personal relationship enjoy sharing such intimate nuggets of information with me. At least you readers have a computer to hide behind, yes?
I actually wrote on this topic a year and a half ago, and going back to read it again, I think most of it still holds true. Women, by and large, do not like briefs, no matter how they’re cut, or what snazzy colors/patterns you buy them in. Maybe they remind us of childhood and seeing our brothers and male cousins scurrying around in their Superman briefs. Maybe they don’t emphasize the goods in a flattering manner. But ask a woman what she thinks of briefs, and ten-to-one odds she no likey.
I respect what you’re saying about boxers, and actually, when men wear only boxers for most of their life, their junk tends to, um, reflect that. Skin is a gloriously stretchy organ. As it were. (Suddenly I’m shy–wasn’t it just last week that I took pubic hair head on? Hmm, bad choice of words.) What I think we should concentrate on is the source of your consternation: your girlfriend. Until she expressed displeasure with your choice of undies, you were fine with the brief. I mean, this is just underwear, right?
There’s nothing inherently bad or wrong or ugly about briefs, it’s just a matter of personal preference for the guy wearing them, and then for the person who sees the guy wearing them. Now you just have to decide if you’re going to try and get used to boxers or boxer briefs to please her, or ignore her preferences and wear what you’re most comfortable with. Depending on how often you see each other, perhaps you could meet halfway, and wear the boxer briefs when you know you’ll be seeing her. If the two of you live together, though, you probably can’t avoid her seeing you daily in your skivvies, so a choice still needs to be made. Incidentally, many women are in the same position. They may wear lacy underwear, thong underwear, no underwear, all depending on what their guy (or gal) finds sexiest. Or they may say forget it, and pull on those plain white granny panties with the full coverage bottom.
Not that I have any experience with plain white granny panties with the full coverage bottom.
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