If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Beth is our source for the answers. From opinions on men’s style to decoding the sometimes mysterious ways of women, she’ll take on a different question every Thursday. And don’t worry, your identity will be protected too. Click here to get to know Beth, then get in touch with her by sending your question to: email@example.com
We’re going to shake things up a bit here at Ask a Woman. Some weeks I’ll answer your pressing questions. Other weeks, I’ll simply write a column about style, lifestyle, gender, or some derivative thereof, which will hopefully spark conversation, debate, arm wrestling matches, mixed martial arts combat, DUELS TO THE DEATH! Ahhh, yes, well, perhaps nothing quite so…fatal. We encourage your participation in the comments section, as well as emails to firstname.lastname@example.org with suggestions for columns on a particular topic. Of course, keep sending those questions, too! On to this week’s post:
Let’s be honest for a moment, you and I. I’m a woman, clearly (Lord, I hope it’s clear by now because there’s been a time or two I’ve been mistaken for a dude, usually in a baseball cap at Starbucks, after a workout, and it wasn’t my finest hour). Most of you are men. I like to think that my expertise for this column is based on my interest in style, my writing ability, and my gender, in that order of importance. But the fact that this column is called Ask a Woman promotes the idea that my being a woman uniquely informs my opinions and advice for you men. So, while I feel slightly uncomfortable speaking for the entire female gender, I do have a lifetime of experience, and many strong women in my life who influence my views, so I’m going to take this opportunity to dispel some myths about women (one per posting), based on some of the columns I’ve written and the comments they’ve generated.
Myth #1: A woman dreams of her wedding day from the time she is a little girl.
I truly do not know a single woman who has uttered these words. Even if it were true, would you have the same ideas about what makes a beautiful wedding or partnership or spouse when you’re 30, as you did when you were 6? If that were true I’d now be married to a dude who looks like David Bowie, circa 1986 when he was the spandex-legging-wearing Goblin King in The Labyrinth–can you say hot androgynous mess?
True, as women enter their twenties and their friends start getting married, they develop ideas about their preferences. But declaring that you MUST have a swan ice sculpture at each table during the reception because “that’s how I’ve always imagined it” would be like me declaring that my groom MUST wear white iridescent eye shadow because the Goblin King was the first man I had the hots for. (Hold your laughter, I know at least one other woman whose first crush was also David Bowie in drag, so let’s not be so quick judge, hmm?)
I think more often than not, women use the myth of a wedding ideal born in girlhood as an excuse to get their way when it comes to wedding planning, and men use it as an excuse not to push back against a nuptial idea they disagree with. By the way, it’s a wedding for BOTH of you, and it doesn’t make you effeminate if you have preferences about what you want–grooms get a say-so, too.
Thanks for tuning in to Part 1: Maiden Myths Dispelled. At some point in the future, I’ll deliver Part 2, 3, and so on. I’m taking next week off in anticipation of a turkey-induced coma. If you venture out for Black Friday shopping, remember to keep a low center of gravity as you negotiate the crowds and don’t be afraid to throw a couple ‘bows.
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